Baring It All
Main Cast: Emily Blunt, Josh O’Connor
Director: Steven Spielberg
To all of my millions of fans out there in the dark who have been waiting for far too long for me to pick up my pen again, my humblest apologies. Life took a difficult and unexpected turn some months ago. There I was sipping champagne on my yacht and putting together a tasteful outfit for my cabaret debut at Andy and Red’s in Zihuatanejo when all of a sudden a hellfire missile descended from the skies and blew my lovely yacht to kindling. I was able to escape the flaming wreckage and, having learned a lot from my old friend Belle Rosen back in the 70s, I was able to Australian crawl my way to shore. Unfortunately, as I made my way up the beach, a secondary explosion from the fuel tanks blasted a piece of debris my direction which caught me on the back of the head knocking me into a period of amnesia. I’ve apparently been in this lovely sanitarium here in Puerto Vallarta for quite some time but only recently have I been able to put my somewhat scrambled memories back in order.
I did get a lovely letter from the Department of War, apologizing for blasting me out of the water. They apparently had my yacht confused with another that may or may not have been involved in the narcotics trade and as their new model is bomb first, ask questions later, I was considered a legitimate target. I have been told that all on board escaped and returned to Los Angeles sometime ago. Only I have been left here to continue my recovery and without my wardrobe. Not a marabou lounging robe in sight. I have to make do with some tatty white cotton thing that smells strongly of bleach and aging urine. I’ll have to ask Helen Lawson to send me a large bottle of her signature fragrance, Helenesque, to sprinkle around the room. Fortunately, I have been told that I am cleared to travel next week so I plan to return to Condo Maine and see about picking up the reins of my media empire and finding the absolute best project for a return to stage or screen.
This evening, I and the other gals on my floor (which is locked for some reason), were allowed the treat of attending the local cinema for a showing of Steven Spielberg’s newest film, Disclosure Day, which has recently had a worldwide release. Off the four of us went, attended by our handsome orderly, Miguel, who made sure that we were unmolested by the general public. (This can be a problem for someone like me who is such an icon to the gay community when traveling in a gay mecca such as PV.) We settled into our seats with popcorn and cokes. I tried to get the man behind the counter to add a couple of shots of bourbon to mine but I’m afraid my Spanish wasn’t good enough to convey my meaning. After interminable previews for films which I have absolutely no interest in seeing, the main feature started.
Disclosure Day returns to familiar Spielberg fantasy/science fiction territory, involving as it does, extraterrestrials, evil quasi-government agencies, innocents on the run, and questions about the nature of life and the universe. Working from his own story, fleshed out by his frequent collaborator, screenwriter David Koepp, the movie takes us on a journey from a DC area wrestling match to a Kansas City TV newsroom, stopping at various points in between. There are nods to and moments taken from many of his other films of similar genres including Close Encounters of the Third Kind, E.T., Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Minority Report, and A.I. Most of these films used the tropes in better and more ingenious ways. I’m not going to spend much time rehashing the plot as I think the film works best if the audience goes in with minimal information regarding what’s to come and that they learn things along with the protagonists.
The protagonists are a mathematical genius ex-hacker computer functionary (Josh O’Connor) working for an evil top secret quasi-governmental agency Wardex run by Colin Firth in full gnashing of teeth mode behind a bushy beard that makes him practically unrecognizable. He also has a girlfriend in jeopardy (Eve Hewson) and a bestie from work (Colman Domingo) aiding him in his quest. The other half is a TV weather gal (Emily Blunt) who suddenly sprouts paranormal gifts, much to the consternation of her doofus boyfriend (Wyatt Russell). What these two have in common and what their destinies are make up the majority of the plot.
At nearly two and a half hours, Disclosure Day feels twenty minutes too long. It’s not that there’s extraneous material but it feels like pretty much all of the sequences need to be trimmed and tightened up. Spielberg can be a master of pacing (see the original Raiders of the Lost Ark or Jurassic Park for masterclasses) but he seems to have lost his touch as scene after scene which should ratchet up the tension go on and on without our adrenaline peaking. One exception is an action sequence involving cars and two trains which is as good and effective as anything he’s ever put on film. The film also begins to delve into big questions regarding religion and faith and the nature of the universe, but it never quite gets there. When these scenes come up, it’s as if the punches are pulled so as not to give offense. The dénouement is also mishandled with far too many cutaways to scenes of unnamed extras staring at their phones. It might be truthful to modern society, but it’s not cinematic.
The performances are all fine. All of the young leads are believable and engaging as innocents trapped in crazy situations not of their own making, and we do care about how it’s all going to turn out. Much of what they are put through is very Hitchcockian in feel, but that director would have been a bit more black humored and a little less earnest in constructing his scenes. My favorite was Mr. Russell, who is pitch perfect as that laid back slightly dopey guy we all know. I sat there looking at him asking myself why do I know the face behind that strawberry blond beard until I realized he’s the son of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and looks very like the younger version of his father.
Disclosure Day is beautifully crafted and technically top notch as Spielberg continues to work with the best in their fields, such as cinematographer Janusz Kaminski and composer John Williams. There are shots, such as the creation of crop circles, that will stick with you long after the film is over. There are also things like a weird homage to Disney’s Snow White which will have you scratching your head in bewilderment. The good outweighs the bad and it’s worth seeing but it’s not one of Spielberg’s masterpieces and probably only worth matinee, not evening prices.
Multiple screens. Gratuitous convent. Roswell New Mexico references. Symbolic cardinals. Drive through sun porch. Bloody crucifix. Bad CGI forest critters Gratuitous Jackie Gleason. Great last line.
Originally from Seattle Washington, land of mist, coffee and flying salmon, Mrs. Norman Maine sprang to life, full grown like Athena, from Andy’s head during a difficult period of life shortly after his relocation to Alabama.
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