I hate that this movie is set in the same year I was born.
Main Cast: Megan Dewitt, Mark McIntire
Director: Curtis Stone
Wow. It’s not often I’m left with no idea at all what I just watched. Sometimes it’s confusing but I can look up a plot summary online. Sometimes it makes sense, it’s just really, really stupid. But in this case, after watching 1972 YELLOW HOUSE … I got nothing.
This was a 2013 found footage movie from director Curtis Stone—no idea if it’s chef Curtis Stone or if it’s just a coincidence that they have the same name. This guy doesn’t have any other director credits, and if it IS the same guy, stay in the kitchen, dude, because your movie sucks. If this is a different guy, try cooking because your movie sucks.
According to the very minimal “summary” online, “During a recent remodel of The Yellow House crews discovered the remains of a little girl and a super 8 movie camera with the footage still inside. The footage has been released to the media by Summerland police. This is their footage.”
Is that what I was supposed to be watching? Because all I saw was 52 minutes of a guy and girl holding a camera without actually aiming or focusing it on anything while talking about something in their house and then whether they should move or not. He wants to move, but she’s tired of moving and wants to stay put. That was a few minutes of the overall runtime with a whole bunch of nonsense crap before and after, but thank God it was less than an hour of my day.
I’m going to guess the “style” was meant to emulate the look of a super 8 film shot in 1972, but I’ve seen old home movies my uncle made back then and they were in color, in focus, and there was something of a comprehensible narrative to what he shot. This thing, though … did I say WOW?
The only good thing about my viewing of 1972 YELLOW HOUSE was that my wife wasn’t home to watch it with me. The last time I made her watch something this weird was SKINAMARINK, and while I really liked that one, she was NOT a fan. So thank God I didn’t have to saddle her with this piece of crap, too. If I had, she might never have watched another movie with me.
And I’m not putting down anyone’s “art”; God knows not everything I write is stellar quality. But there were several times during 1972 YELLOW HOUSE where there were THREE different scenes all on screen at the time same time in a very annoying triple-exposure. And that was on purpose, I’m sure.
MAYBE if even half the dialogue had been audible. Instead I had to rely heavily on the subtitles, and even then more often than not all it said was “inaudible”. I would love to know if this is the movie Stone MEANT to make or if he just didn’t know what he was doing. I’m really hoping it was the second one and that he’ll do better the next time. If there is one. Then again, if THIS is the stuff he wants to make, like I said, has he considered chef life?
I can’t really comment on the acting as everything, acting included, is washed away in the wake of the terrible quality of the filming. This thing was so bad. Sometimes after I see a really bad movie, I wonder if watching it again later will have the same effect or if some distance will give me a different perspective. I’ll never know with 1972 YELLOW HOUSE; I will never watch it again. I saw this “free with ads” on the Fandango app, picking it because it was only 52 minutes long, but holy crap I should have just picked something, anything, at random; I couldn’t have picked worse.
C. Dennis Moore is the author of over 60 published short stories and novellas in the speculative fiction genre. Most recent appearances are in the Dark Highlands 2, What Fears Become, Dead Bait 3 and Dark Highways anthologies. His novels are Revelations, and the Angel Hill stories, The Man in the Window, The Third Floor, and The Flip.
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