Farrah Fawcett Gets the Death Shaft From Oscar

March 9, 2010

Ceremony fails to include cultural icon In Memorium

While perusing my MSN homepage today, it came to my attention that once again, Farrah Fawcett has received the Royal Death Shaft.  This time at the hands of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.  You know, the Oscar people.  She was intentionally left out of the In Memorium section of yesterday’s broadcast.  When questioned, some flunky replied that like every year, not everyone could be included.  What a big giant pile of bullshit.

Farrah Fawcett was a cultural icon in the 1970s.  Her poster turned many a boy into man and her signature hairstyle became the be-winged fantasy of every girl.  Not only a TV personality, Fawcett was also a member of the Academy (a supposed requirement for inclusion in the ceremony) and made a decent number of big screen films.  She died in June of 2009 after a prolonged battle with cancer.

Her death was news for about five minutes.  You see, Michael Jackson happened to die shortly thereafter and Farrah never did get her day.  I, for one, was sad to hear of her passing and felt for her family.  She weirded out pretty well there for a number of years but had pulled it together during her illness.  She was part of my childhood and died too young.

So why didn’t she even get her moment at the Oscars?  The idea that “not everyone could be included” is a load.  Michael Jackson was not a member of the Academy.  He was not an actor.  Yet there he was, just as big and freaky in death as he was in life.  I guess Farrah just had the bad fortune to succumb to cancer at the same time as Sir Michael decided to force his shady doctor to off him with surgical anesthetic.  Bigger scandal, bigger freak, bigger piles of money.  I guess that’s what it really takes to be remembered by “your peers”.  

Shame on you, Academy.  You didn’t accidentally leave Farrah out, she got ousted by people you decided were more worthy and one in particular who did not even meet your own stated qualifications for inclusion.  No, she was not the most talented actress in the world.  She was also not a giant freak whose own idiocy resulted in her death.  She was just a woman in her 60s who died of a disease that kills lots of regular people.  Sure, she influenced the culture of the entire country in her heyday, but what the hell, not everybody can be included, right?

The Oscars are on……NOW!

March 8, 2010

Pre-Game warm-up

No Oscars are complete without some sort of pre-show fawning.  Usually it’s a D-List television personality in a horrible outfit telling everyone that they look wonderful (even if – actually especially if – it’s a lie).  We’re supposed to be “getting to know” the stars by hearing them give canned mini-interviews and being sort of charming.  You know, pretending to be real people.  I don’t watch those shows, since nausea is so easy to come by in this life.

But just in case you’re missing it, I’ll give my own little pre-show rundown.  This evening for our Oscar event, I am wearing Red Flannel Pajamas by Land’s End.  I am indeed delighted to be here and yes, just being nominated is thrilling!   My stylist (mininocket, age 12) did my hair and make-up, recognizing that tousled and minimal is totally in this year.  Watch for her, she’ll be a player in this business someday.

Please gather your treats of choice (2 giant cookies here in the House of Nocket), and settle in for eighteen hours of good, clean Oscar fun!

The Broadcast Event (aka: A Gala Evening Of Stars!)

 First of all, I will be copying GG from Sonic Clash - I love his live post format.  Thanks GG!

7:30 pm - Why are the big nominees all out there like it’s a cattle auction?

7:32 – Neil Patrick Harris was great in Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog but this is sort of painful.

7:44  – Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin (has his fathead decreased?  I think so!) have good chemistry, but are given some lame jokes.  George Clooney does funny, funny stink-eye with Baldwin and Sandra Bullock looks adorable.

7:51 – Oh, for the love of God.  Now I want to see The Blind Side.  I am such a sucker.  And Ryan Reynolds does not do serious well.

7:59  – Up wins animated film.  Shocker.  I wrote this before it was announced.

8:00 – Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried usher in the first two hideous dresses of the evening.  Their nannies should have put them in something more becoming.  Are we not going to get to hear a wretched rendition of each song this year?  Boooooo.  I look forward to those.

8:12 – Robert Downey Junior appears.  It’s the first RDJ sighting of the evening.  I have no idea what award he’s presenting but he’s my hero in blues shades and bow tie.  I am jealous of Tina Fey.

8:15 – WooHoo!  The Hurt Locker – Best Original Screenplay.  Totally deserved.  Some of the best real-world dialogue I’ve heard in a long time.

8:17 – Molly Ringwald = Deer in the Headlights

8:28 – Zoe Saldana looks to be carrying a load of muppets in the train of her dress.  Nice intro to the short films category that usually gets very overlooked.

8:38 – Ben Stiller makes me LOL.  That in itself is noteworthy.  He’s also making fun of James Cameron.  Totally worth the time in the make-up chair.

8:59  – Supporting Actress goes to Mo’Nique – no one else even had a chance. 

9:09 – Sarah Jessica Parker has a hair issue.  Smoothing serum emergency!

9:18 – Baldwin and Martin bed sketch will be played on YouTube 8 zillion times.  Minimum. Ditto the Snuggie shot.

9:22 – Zac Ephron really should go back to the Disney Channel.  What is he, 5 years old?  I scoff at him and his be-banged baby visage.  And by the way, honey, your name is spelled with a “k” or an “h”.  Someone had to tell him.

9:25 – First time Hurt Locker goes head to head with Avatar.  Hurt Locker wins Sound Editing and Sound Mixing.  Whee!  Go HL!

9:37 – Oh my.  The In Memorium always makes me cry a little.  Throw James Taylor in there and I’m blubbering.

9:45 – Is Jennifer Lopez wearing bubble wrap?

9:54 – I choke as I admit that Avatar probably deserves the award for Visual Effects.  I can still be filled with contempt for James Cameron, though.

10:15 – I did not take unscheduled naps during either Documentaries or Foreign Films.  There’s a first time for everything.  I might even seek out and watch The Cove.  No guarantee I won’t have a nap while watching, though.

10:32 – Ah, Jeff Bridges.  I knew you would win Best Actor for Crazy Heart, but it still does my heart good to see The Dude with that statue in his hand.  Wiping a little tear right now.  Cool speech, man.

10:45 – Carey Mulligan gets the award for most superfluous close-up audience shots.  She’s cute, but we’ve seen her about 25 times.  Also, please shut up, Oprah.

10:50 – Go Sandra!  Go Sandra!  Go Sandra!  When did she kiss Meryl Streep?

10:53 – Barbra Streisand seems to be sporting a doily around her neck.  Way to go, style icon!

10:55 – Yay!!!!  First woman ever to win Best Director.  First ex-wife of James Cameron to kick his smug ass in front of the whole world.  Katherine Bigelow rocks!

10:58 – Awesome.  The Hurt Locker gets Best Picture without pulling a single punch in showing an ugly war in an ugly way with an incredible cast and unflinching honesty.  Nice work, Academy.

Post-game wrap up

Not a bad broadcast.  Nothing extraordinary or shocking, but some well deserved wins and a relatively tight format that did not include Rob Lowe singing.  No, we will never forget that.  My biggest complaint is that there was not nearly enough Robert Downey, Junior.  Sleep tight, movie watchers!

Shall we have an Oscar Party? Yes we shall!

March 7, 2010

Academy Awards.  Live Blog.  Movie rewind.  Be There.

 

So yeah – I’m live blogging the Oscars tonight.  Never live blogged anything before so why not start with something massive and overwhelming?  Yes, those were my thoughts exactly.  But I’ll be watching, you’ll be watching, we might as well watch together.  And no, I will not refrain from off-topic fashion related commentary.  It’s in my nature, I cannot fight it.

I’ll be starting about 15 minutes before the broadcast – Central Time.  Yes, there will be coverage of what I am wearing and eating – one must have a pre-show, after all…

Alice in Wonderland Hauls in Beaucoup Bucks

March 7, 2010

It may be weird and creepy, but it’s a big ol’ cash cow for Tim Burton

I still completely stand by my assessment that Tim Burton’s new Alice in Wonderland looks creepy and crappy.  But according to Box Office Mojo, the thing made 116 million smackers in its opening weekend.  What the what? (Thank you, Tina Fey).

I totally don’t get the appeal – of either the original story or this very weird looking version.  Johnny Depp is pretty – but not here.  The story is for children so I suppose desperate parents stuck in an endless winter (well, at least in the Midwest) are looking to get out of the house with their kids.  Maybe adults have fond memories of the story.  But memories lie, people!  The story makes no sense and adding Tim Burton just ups the creep-factor.

But number don’t lie.  $116 million.  Is the movie really that good?  Why does everyone want to see it?  Someone please, explain this to me – I’m losing faith in humanity.  A 3-D cheshire cat just can’t merit that big of a payday.

Scorsese Nails Shutter Island’s Big Twist Ending

March 4, 2010

Unfortunately, he drives the nail through the story’s soul 

I was really looking forward to Shutter Island.  Loved the book, liked the trailers, went in optimistic.  And I wasn’t entirely disappointed.   Disappointed enough to come here and bitch, though.  Told you yesterday that I would and I do like to keep a promise.

If you’ve seen or heard anything about the movie, you know that there’s a big twist ending.  I already knew the ending and it is indeed a nice, juicy twist.  The kind of twist M. Night Shyamalan dreams of being able to write (and keeps trying, again and again, like the Energizer Bunny on crack and with too much funding).  Martin Scorsese keeps his film version of Shutter Island true to the book, but somewhere along the way he manages to lose its soul.

A good twist ending leaves you with something – shock, sadness, fear, delight at the ingenuity of it all, whatever.  It should pack a punch and leave you wide eyed as you put all the pieces together and realize how the twist was there all along, you just weren’t looking in the right places.  But even the best twist in the world will fail if the actors and director don’t succeed in making us care about the story.

That’s where Shutter Island trips and falls.  It’s all there, just like it is in the Dennis Lehane novel.  But I don’t care.  Leonardo DiCaprio and Scorsese utterly fail to engage me on any sort of emotional level.  That ending should pack a huge whallop – it does in the book.  Any time you break out The Big Twist there will be naysayers that nitpick and decry the plausibility of it all, but that’s not what it’s about - I put my disbelief on the shelf when I paid my money and walked onto the theater.  It isn’t the facts of the ending that suck, it’s the execution.

I’m not going to ruin this ending for anyone, but I will say that by its very nature this film should engage the viewer as a human drama as well as a psychological thriller.  But Scorsese doesn’t play it that way, he seems more interested in the nuts and bolts than in imbuing the film with the necessary humanity to make us care when the end arrives.  DiCaprio is far too dry and wooden in his performance to make up for the frigid direction. 

It’s sad, really – there are a lot of good things about Shutter Island the movie (yeah, I’ll review it and tell you those later) but the emotional impotence of the entire film makes the rest pale and uninteresting.   Apparently others disagree, since the stupid thing is still topping the box office.  I would like to think that’s because there isn’t all that much new out there and that the trailers are really good.  Don’t be fooled – it’s all style and no dramatic substance.  The big twist feels like an technical exercise.  Read the book instead and rent the movie when it comes out on DVD.  Maybe Scorsese will explain how he sucked the soul out of the story in the commentary.

Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island Takes Me Out of my Comfort Zone

March 2, 2010

Is book adaptation worth my theater cash?

So I’m going to see a movie in an actual theater.  I know, I’m proud of myself, too.  It’s not a likely candidate for me to loosen my wallet on, either.  Martin Scorsese’s adaptation of Shutter Island seems on paper like something I would avoid like the plague.

Why?  Because I don’t like Scorsese.   I don’t have anything in particular against the man, but his movies tend to be far outside my preferred genres.  I don’t actively avoid him, but I certainly don’t seek out his films simply because he directed.  I’m also not a huge fan of Leonardo DiCaprio.  The faint whiff of Titanic is still enough to taint him in my mind.  He also doesn’t quite fit the mold of the main character.  Third, and most damning, is that Shutter Island is an adaptation of a Dennis Lehane book that I adored.  Not only do I usually avoid those on the big screen – I often avoid them entirely.

But this is different.  I’ve seen a couple of trailers and I like them.  A lot of the book is about atmosphere and it looks like Scorsese may just manage to capture that essence.  I love a good thriller even if I do already know the end and I’m always, always hoping for another Shawshank Redemption - a movie that is so good that I am actively jealous of those who have not read the book so the ending can be that much better. 

So Shutter Island it is, and for full price on the big screen.  Wish me luck – you know I’ll be back here bitching if Scorsese doesn’t do Lehane justice…

Johnny Depp and the new Alice in Wonderland

February 25, 2010

Mad Hatter makes Willy Wonka look bland and sane

 

I adore Johnny Depp.  He’s never taken the easy way out and let his pretty boy looks dictate his career choices.  From What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to Ed Wood to Cap’n Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, he’s taken on the unusual, the wacky and the drunkards.  Sure, the fact that he’s the poster child for being beautiful doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t define him as an actor. 

When I heard Depp was to be the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s version of the acid trip that is Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland I was terribly torn.  I can’t stand this story – the continuous idiotic nonsense plays less as whimsical and more as lunatic for me.  I’ve never read or seen a version that didn’t turn me off.  But Depp is a draw, even for haters like me.  Now that I’ve had my first glimpse of the trailer I’m whole again.  I’ve seen all I need to of the character and the movie.

Now all I saw was a bit of the tea party scene.  Cutie Mia Wasikowska, who turned in a terrific performance opposite Jamie Bell in Defiance is Alice and Depp is decked out in Burton-esque splendor as the Mad Hatter.  I hated it.  Don’t get me wrong – it looks great.  The visuals have Burton’s signature weird-ass, over the top flair and Depp definitely knows how use make-up and special effects to make an engaging (yet creepy) lunatic.  But even that small snippet was sensory overload.  

Burton’s visual style and Carroll’s fantastical story would seem like a perfect match.  But for me they’re far more like the perfect storm – way too much weirdness all in one place, all at one time.  It looks like this one is going to appeal to hardcore fans of the story or Burton but not those whose tastes run more toward films with oddities like “plot”.  It also, like so many Alice remakes before it, looks too scary for young kids.  I think I’ll skip this one – I’m not in the mood for either hallucinogenic stories or the freakish Depp nightmares that would surely follow.

Kevin James Keeps Me Simple

February 22, 2010

Paul Blart Keeps My Mind in Neutral…and I Like It 

So recently we were looking for a movie to watch with our tween and couldn’t stomach the idea of Hannah Montana or anything involving princesses.  Many rounds through the free movies we could stream through our Roku ended with us deciding to watch Paul Blart – Mall Cop.

Men of a Certain Age Attracts Woman of a Certain Age

February 16, 2010

TNT produces series not aimed at boys 18-24.  Hell freezes over.

Yesterday I applauded HBO as the last bastion of quality programming.  I lied.  Yeah, they’re the only ones making really good TV movies, but other cable networks are trying to step to the plate with original series.  Some suck to the tenth power.  Others, well, don’t.  Men of a Certain Age really, really does not suck.  Instead it’s quite fabulous.

Men of a Certain Age is the brainchild of Ray Romano.  I know what you’re thinking and no, I didn’t know he had a brainchild in him either.  He’s come a long way from the stand-up circuit and Everybody Loves Raymond.  The basic premise of Men is simple - a slice of life of three men over 40.  If that was all we got, however, the show would suck.  I know plenty of men over 40 – why would I spend my leisure time with three more?

The answer is simple – excellent writing, complex and thoughtful characterization and knock-your-socks-off acting.  Romano is joined by Scott Bakula (please, put Quantum Leap out of your mind, the man has matured) and the uber-talented Andre Braugher, who hasn’t done something this worthy of his skill since Homicide.   It’s hard to imagine the three of them forming any sort of cohesive group, but they do – and they do it with a terrific combination of humor, pathos, dysfunction and reality.  The hour-long show is filled with bits of witty banter and situations to which grown-ups can actually relate.   The men are convincing as long-time friends and their life situations are different enough that most everyone will find something that touches their own experience.

Men of a Certain Age is just finishing up it’s first season on TNT, but cable being what it is, I’m absolutely certain that they will run the whole thing over and over and over until season 2 begins.  You can also catch full episodes online, if you are of a mind to do so.  Men of a Certain Age is not just for those over 40, but for pretty much anyone who appreciates high quality TV.  I fit the demographic and love it – but so does my 16-year-old son, who is about as far outside the demographic as anyone who’s allowed to stay up late enough to watch a 9 pm show.  You may appreciate it more if you’ve lived life beyond the age of 25, but good programming is good programming, demographics be damned.  Nice work, TNT.

HBO hits the sweet spot

February 15, 2010

Network produces actual content!

 

When I was a teenager, we got HBO for the first time.  That was back when you got a little booklet in the mail every month telling you when each of the four movies they had rights to would run.  They got to leave the swear words and naked people in, something brand new to television.  They ran Reds and Doctor Zhivago (never watched either one) and A Little Romance (watched it about a zillion times).  They filled the space between movies in theaters and edited versions shown on TV.

But the world changed with the advent of VHS, decreasing censorship on network and cable TV and the ultimate Changer of All Things- the Internet.  HBO had to evolve or die – its audience soon had a whole lot of cheaper ways to watch recycled movies.  Thus began the era of HBO original movies and series and the world rejoiced.

Fine, I exaggerate, but this network consistently puts out quality original programming in a world filled with broadcast network reality show crap.  Showtime has followed their lead with success, but in my view HBO is still king.  Catch the recent Grey Gardens for proof that they still have the guts to make interesting projects that would never see the light of day if they had to compete in the rough and tumble world of the big screen.  

As the world of entertainment options expands, the amount of quality entertainment shrinks.  Cheap and accessible rule the day and we get left with an endless stream of crap with which to while away our free hours.  Personally, I hate it.  I love good movies.  I love good TV.  HBO is one of the last places that actually provides those things on a regular basis.  Ergo, I love you, HBO.

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