Apocalyptic Arsenal
Professor Farnsworth: “Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court!”
Futurama, “Time Keeps on Slippin” (Season 3, Episode 14)
[Presses a button, revealing his wall of superweapons.]
Professor Farnsworth: “I suppose I could part with one and still be feared…”
Superhero universes are filled with living weapons. Non-powered vigilantes can take down entire gangs in one night. Superpowered beings can destroy a city by themselves. Humanoid weapons of mass destruction like Superman, Doomsday, or Squirrel Girl are even more dangerous. And there are some weapons that can slay those god-like superheroes.
Count down with us as we examine the details of the six deadliest superweapons.
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#6 The Spear of Destiny
Mick: “You hear them, too, huh? The voices. What’s the Spear saying to you?”
Legends of Tomorrow, “Fellowship of the Spear” Season 2, Episode 15
Amaya: “It’s not the Spear. It’s my mother. Her voice, at least. She’s begging me to help our people. To keep our family and our legacy safe. She wants me to change my destiny.”
Mick: “Maybe the Spear can do that for her.”
Amaya: “The chance to rewrite reality. Who wouldn’t be tempted?”
Also known as the Holy Lance or the Lance of Longinus, a Roman soldier pierced Jesus’ side while he was crucified. Holy blood turned the Spear into a powerful magical focus and gave it the ability to manipulate superpowered beings.
The Spear was lost to history until World War II when Adolf Hitler used the Spear of Destiny to keep superheroes from attacking Axis territory, neatly justifying why heroes like Superman couldn’t end WWII in a day. Hitler also used an occult ritual to curse the Spear, forcing whoever wielded it to become as evil as himself.
The Spear of Destiny might not be one of the flashiest superweapons on our list, but anything that can mind control an army of superheroes and turn you into the next Hitler is a superweapon to reckon with. If we expanded the list to have a sixth item that killed Jesus, the other five are pretty bad.
#5 All-Black the Necrosword
Gorr: [to Thor] “What are you the god of? Axes? Drunkenness? Vanity? Or war perhaps? I have killed so very many gods of war. And gods of fear. Gods of chaos. Gods of blood and wrath and jealousy and lies. Of plagues and earthquakes. Genocide and revenge. Of degradation. Of death. Very few gods of poetry and flowers, though I killed those just the same.”
Thor God of Thunder #2
All-Black the Necrosword is a symbiotic weapon wielded by Gorr, the God-Butcher. That is perhaps the edgiest sentence I’ve ever written. All-Black was created by an evil god named Knull in order to kill every other god. Knull was defeated, but All-Black found its way to a new host, Gorr.
Gorr had lost his family in a series of disasters and been exiled from his homeland for cursing their gods. He found All-Black next to a wounded god and snapped when the god asked for help. Gorr used All-Black to murder him and began a journey to slay every god, unknowingly following in Knull’s footsteps.
Like Mjolnir, All-Black grants its wielder superhuman strength, speed, durability, and a healing factor. It also has the ability to shapeshift, fire energy blasts, and create shadowy minions called Black Berserkers. All-Black was later revealed to be the prototype for the Symbiote race, and its forging is why they have a weakness to fire and sonic vibrations.
Gorr, the God-Butcher is rumored to be a villain in Thor: Love and Thunder. If that’s the case, he will surely bring along this god-killing superweapon.
#4 The Miracle Machine
Brainiac 5: “In Controller language, its name is Gel-Jedollah-The-Absolute. There’s no translation that really makes sense. We call it the Miracle Machine.”
Final Crisis
The Miracle Machine was not designed as a weapon, but can be used as one of DC’s most terrifying superweapons. It was created by the Controllers, who combined a Green Lantern Ring with a Mother Box to create a machine that could make anything the user imagined.
The Controllers realized that the Miracle Machine was too dangerous to keep around and gave it to the Legion of Superheroes, warning them to use it only as a last resort. The Legion has gone to extreme lengths to keep the Miracle Machine’s existence a secret and have only used it a handful of times. Legionnaire Brainiac 5 even commented that Superman is the only person he’d trust to look at the Miracle Machine.
Superweapons automatically include anything that can warp reality, but the Miracle Machine seems tame compared to other reality warping artifacts.
#3 The Ultimate Nullifier
Galactus: “The Ultimate Nullifier in the hands of a human?! In the name of the Eternal Cosmos- put it down! Your feeble mind cannot begin to comprehend its power! You hold the means to destroy a galaxy… lay waste to a universe!“
Fantastic Four #50
The Ultimate Nullifier is one of the deadliest superweapons in the Marvel universe. It can destroy anything that the user targets, but runs the risk of destroying everything if the wielder’s will is too weak.
The Ultimate Nullifier is guarded by Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds. He primarily uses it against rare foes that are too powerful for him to defeat or anything that violates the natural order of the universe. It was later revealed that the Ultimate Nullifier is part of Galactus and can be summoned to his side if stolen.
The Ultimate Nullifier can be used as both a superweapon and a tool. The Fantastic Four once used it to recreate the Marvel Multiverse by nullifying the event that destroyed it. This is not a superweapon to screw with.
#2 The Anti-Life Equation
[half of humanity speaks in unison]
Final Crisis
Darkseid: “I. Am. The. New. God. All is one in Darkseid. This mighty body is my church. When I command your surrender, I speak with three billion voices. When I make a fist to crush your resistance, it is with three billion hands. When I stare into your eyes and shatter your dreams. And break your heart. It is with six billion eyes! Nothing like Darkseid has ever come among you: Nothing will again.”
The Anti-Life Equation is DC Comics’ greatest superweapon. It is not a gun, blade, or explosive. It is a memetic concept weaponized by Darkseid, the Lord of Apokolips.
While traveling the universe, Darkseid learned of a Martian philosophy called The Life Equation. The philosophy posits that there is a Life Equation that mathematically proves that life is worth living. Darkseid theorized that there must be an opposite equation that proves life is meaningless. Obsessed with the Anti-Life Equation, he searched the cosmos to discover the formula.
Darkseid finally obtained the Anti-Life Equation during the event Final Crisis. One broadcast of the Equation was enough to bring half of the Earth under his control, including an army of heroes and villains. Unleashing the Anti-Life Equation was enough for the Justice League to decide that Darkseid needed to die. Superman even used the Miracle Machine to annihilate Darkseid in a superweapons clash.
So what is the Anti-Life Equation anyways?
“loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth
÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding
× guilt × shame × failure × judgment
n=y where y=hope and n=folly,
love=lies, life=death, self=Darkseid.”
#1 The Infinity Gauntlet
Thanos: “Reality is often disappointing. That is, it was. [inserts the Reality Stone into the Infinity Gauntlet] Now, reality can be whatever I want.”
Avengers: Infinity War
You knew that The Infinity Gauntlet would be our number one superweapon. It’s too powerful and versatile to take a backseat to any other.
The Infinity Gauntlet is just a fancy looking gauntlet. It’s real power lies in the Infinity Stones inserted into the Gauntlet. The Stones give the user complete control of Time, Space, the Mind, the Soul, Power, and Reality respectively. When all six stones are united, the wielder becomes a god.
Remember the Ultimate Nullifier? The Infinity Gauntlet is the one thing that it can’t nullify. The Mad Titan Thanos once used the Infinity Gauntlet to defeat an army of heroes, several cosmic entities, and even Eternity, the personification of the Marvel Universe.
Which of these superweapons are in your arsenal? Would you swap some out or rearrange the rankings? Tell us in a comment.
Jared Bounacos has written for Movie Rewind since 2016.
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