Hit-Monkey: Who is the Ape Assassin?

An idea so bananas it has to work!

Deadpool: [about a killer they’re hunting] “You’re not gonna believe me.”
Spider-Man: “Try me.”
Deadpool:His name’s Hit-Monkey. He’s a hitman. Who’s a monkey. [Spider-Man glares] You don’t believe me.
Spider-Man:No, of course not.

Deadpool Vol. 4 #19

A gang leader sips some wine. His crew has performed a string of crimes, ranging from drug running to assassination. Earth’s heroes are off-world dealing with an interstellar invasion, and the spy agencies are busy with a potential war. He thinks the gang is prepared for whatever minor hero tries to stop them. Something bursts through the skylight. The gangster stares in disbelief as a monkey wearing a suit draws a pair of pistols.

The monkey fires at the guards, leaping from perch to perch to dodge their gunshots. He jumps into a cluster of guards and claws at them like a whirling dervish. His gunfire never stops as he juggles the guns between his paws and dexterous feet. The last guard falls. The monkey reloads. The gangster can only gape in bewildered horror as Hit-Monkey pulls the trigger.

Have we hit peak superhero? I feel like we must have if Hit-Monkey stars in a new show. A Deadpool antagonist haunted by a ghostly assassin will be hunting down the scum of the Earth. So who is he? How did he become a hitman? Why is a haunted monkey hitman fighting crime? Did I really just write that sentence? Let’s find out.

Welcome to the Jungle: Hit-Monkey’s Backstory

Hit-Monkey:Ook?

Hit-Monkey Vol. 2 #1

Hit-Monkey debuted in Hit-Monkey #1 in 2010. He was created by Daniel Way and Dalibor Talajic.

An unnamed assassin was wounded in a failed political coup d’etat. He was found by a group of Japanese macaque monkeys. The group nursed him back to health, with the exception of one monkey that didn’t trust the assassin.

The monkey learned how to fight from watching as The Assassin practiced his moves while recovering. He eventually attacked the other monkeys when they wouldn’t throw The Assassin out and was banished for his crime.

The monkey discovered several soldiers in the forest who were hunting The Assassin. They massacred the monkeys and murdered The Assassin. The exiled monkey stole several guns and schemed to avenge his friends as Hit-Monkey.

No Monkeying Around: Hit-Monkey’s History

Hit-Monkey:AAKH! AK-AAAKK!”

Hit-Monkey #2

The soldiers were tracked back to a general named Kato. Hit-Monkey slaughtered his men, leading a desperate Kato to hire Bullseye to protect him. Hit-Monkey defeated Bullseye and assassinated the general, only to learn that Bullseye had murdered several innocent bystanders in anger over being beaten by an ape. A horrified Hit-Monkey swore that he would kill every assassin in the world to avenge those he had gotten killed.

Hit-Monkey traveled the world, hunting down assassins wherever he went. He soon discovered that he was haunted by The Assassin’s ghost, which gave Hit-Monkey intel on targets and advised him in battle.

Hit-Monkey hit the big leagues when he tried to assassinate Deadpool. The regenerating degenerate was so worried about his opponent that he teamed up with Spider-Man to stop him. The duo eventually defeated the vigilante ape assassin, but he escaped to fight another day.

Monkey See, Monkey Do: Hit-Monkey’s Powers and Personality

Hit-Monkey:EHK!

Hit-Monkey #3

Hit-Monkey has all the strength and agility of a healthy Japanese macaque. He may be a Mutant because of his above average intelligence. Hit-Monkey’s most useful trait is that he’s too ridiculous for most enemies to take seriously. Many humans refuse to believe that he exists and those who do underestimate him. Only truly crazy people like Deadpool or those who have seen him in action believe in Hit-Monkey.

This ape assassin is an expert sharpshooter and learned martial arts by studying the assassin. He can evenly fight Spider-Man, Deadpool, and Bullseye. Being able to hold weapons with his feet opens up many new angles of attack for Hit-Monkey. He also has a powerful healing factor.

Hit-Monkey acts as close to human as he can without becoming a simian version of Howard the Duck. He avoids harming innocent bystanders and mourns them if they are killed in the crossfire. He once attended a (fake) funeral for Spider-Man when he thought he had killed him. The Assassin’s ghost claims that Hit-Monkey will never be able to stop killing because he “picked up a gun in anger.

The Actors Who Play Hit-Monkey

Fred Tatasciore – Hit-Monkey

Didya Get All That

A monkey with a gun. It’s not that complicated, folks. If you see an enraged macaque wearing a monkey suit, run!

Image courtesy of Marvel

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