Dumbass of the Week – Nike and its Nut-Job Tiger Woods Ad

Dead father drones to moping son, world disposes of Nike products en masse

First I want to go on the record with one thing.  I do not care what Tiger Woods does with his penis.  I am not his friend.  I am not his wife.  I am not his fan.  I only watch golf with my dad.  Not that he isn’t a jerk, but didn’t we already know that before his privates became public?  I think we did.

That said, I do watch sports.  Sometimes I watch them on ESPN (one of the networks that aired this dreck).  I also own a fairly large number of Nike products.   If I am ever assaulted on ESPN or any other network by Nike’s new Tiger Woods ad starring his dead father I might upchuck.  And then I will purge my home of any and all Nike products.  This is hands down the most stupid, pathetic ad I have ever had the misfortune of viewing.  And for the love of God, I did it to myself.

That’s right.  I looked it up on YouTube to see what all the fuss was about.  What I got for my trouble was 33 seconds of a moping Tiger Woods being talked to in incomprehensible, parsed bits by his dead father.  He never moves, only blinks.  His father makes no sense (for which he is completely forgiven, being dead and all).

Am I supposed to feel sorry for you Tiger?  I don’t.  Am I supposed to get some message from the nonsense words they put in your father’s mouth?  I don’t.  Am I supposed to admire Nike for standing by its very own moron?  I don’t.  Am I supposed to feel nauseated?  I do.

Nike needs to recognize that either they stand by their people or they don’t.  Either dump him or ignore his penis issues.  Don’t try to marry his personal problems to his endorsement deal.  It makes him look like an even bigger fool (didn’t know that was possible, did you?) and makes Nike look like pompous blowhards who think we can all learn a lesson from a pampered baby with no self control.

The only lesson I learned was to avoid Nike products like the plague.  Way to go, Nike!

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