Dumbass of the Week – Jesse James

So many idiots, so little time…

I never did see the appeal of Jesse James.  But the grubby reality TV mechanic with enough tattoes to qualify as sleeves is not really my type.  In any case, the “star” of such high quality TV fare as Monster Garage and Jesse James is a Dead Man had until this week only been on my radar as Mr. Sandra Bullock.  To each her own, I always say.

They seemed like a happy enough couple.  Bullock has always been tight-lipped about her personal life (an endearing quality) and their marriage was not a media spectacle.  She looked happy and her acknowledgement of her husband during her Oscar acceptance speech sounded sweet and sincere.

Now we already know that Hollywood Eats Its Young, and it is equally apparent that it uses the splinters of its broken marriages to pick its teeth afterward.  Hollywood is a bitch of a mistress and a whole lot of actors have failed marriages on their resumes.  It’s the ones that manage to stay together that are the oddities.  Even with the recognition that it’s almost impossible to be a happy couple in Hollywood, James proved this week that he is a prick of the highest order.

It takes quite a lot to be named Movie Rewind’s Dumbass of the Week.  Not just any little faux-pas will cut the mustard.  Wardrobe malfunctions?  Who cares?  Paparazzi tantrums?  That’s nothin’.  Only the biggest screw-up of the week gets the honor.  James has more than earned it with his infidelity with a “tattoo artist” (stripper) that led to Bullock dropping his sorry ass (way to go, Sandra).  According to said stripper (I refuse to name her – her fifteen minutes of fame need to be over right now) the affair took place during the filming of The Blind Side, for which Bullock obviously just won an Oscar.  Nice way to celebrate the biggest moments of your wife’s career, asshole.  Why did this come out now?  Just couldn’t stand being in your wife’s shadow perhaps, you big loser?

Maybe life with Sandra Bullock was sheer hell.  I don’t know.  But any man with gonads ends the mariage in that case, rather than screwing around with some cheap, tacky tramp.  No, my guess is that Jesse felt entitled – his wife was out of town, you know.  What’s a big strapping man to do about his needs?  Boo-fricking-hoo. 

Of course, his apologies have not helped his case.  They’ve helped him earn this Movie Rewind title, but that’s about it.  Saying that you used bad judgement and apologizing for hurting people (always an epic fail) is not quite the same as owning up to your behavior and admitting to being a selfish child.

The one positive I see coming out of this whole mess is the reaction by Bullock.  Set to attend the premiere of The Blind Side in Europe with her husband, she abruptly cancelled the trip and dropped her sorry excuse for a husband, moving out of the house within a day of the public debacle.  Good for you, Sandra.  The long list of Hollywood spouses who have endured extended public humiliation at the hands of their supposed loved one is long and ugly.  Cut and run, honey – he has proved he is a Grade A jerk.

Welcome to a currently very exclusive club, Jesse James.  You are my Dumbass of the Week.  Enjoy it, it may be the only award you ever win.

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