House of the Dead

Rating:

Video Game Hijinks

Main Cast: Jonathan Cherry, Sonya Salomma, Jurgen Prochnow, Ona Grauer

Director: Uwe Boll

This is the first of three cheesy horror movies I recently watched back-to-back. Of course, other words could be used to describe the thing: “horribly cliched”, “wooden acting”, “paper-thin plot”… but what can you expect from a movie that openly states it is based on a video game?

Also, it was directed by Uwe Boll. For those in the know, that should tell you something. For those who don’t know: well, he doesn’t have a good rep. In fact, he is the king of B (actually, more like D) movies nowadays. I think I can safely say that there are three reasons to see this movie: blowing up zombies is one, and the female lead actor has the other two.

Her name is Ona Grauer. She plays Alicia, the old girlfriend of a guy named… oh, who cares. These characters are all pretty much the same: young, energetic, and not-exactly-wise who go to this island for a party. But the only party is a party of zombies, brought to life by the “boss” of this particular level, who needs to be killed at the end. Anyway, I’d much prefer to muse on Grauer, who does a very fine job of standing around in revealing black leather. She also has a cool swordfight and, of course, blows away countless zombies in the gunfight outside a voodoo house. All the characters participated in that melee, and I must admit it was a very good mixture of live action/video game.

For what it is, it does okay. But certainly it is no movie, just a video game played out by humans rather than bits and bytes.

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