2012 Oscar Movie Reviews #1 – War Horse

February 2, 2012

Hopefully saving the best for later…

It’s that time of year, movie fans.  OSCAR TIME!  And while I’m completely underwhelmed with the nominees this year, that will certainly not stop me from seeing and reviewing as many as I can before the broadcast.

I’ll be starting today with Steven Spielberg’s War Horse.  I like Spielberg – the man knows how to put together an entertaining movie.  I recently watched Jaws for the first time in many years and was reminded just how long this man has been rocking the world of movies, consistently and with more and more artistic diversity.

He stays in his wheelhouse with War Horse – the beautifully filmed war movie.  And while a lot of what he does is amazing on the screen, a lot of what he does here fails.  To find out more you’re simply going to have to read the full review.  Yes, I am just that cruel.

Next on the docket is Moneyball.  I couldn’t care less about baseball as a sport.  Can Brad Pitt convince me otherwise?  I’ll let you know.  In the meantime, let’s take a look at the trailer for War Horse, then you can scamper off and read the review.

 

Netflix Caves to Warner Bros. on 56 Day Delay

January 31, 2012

Redbox tells them to screw off

Well, well.  It looks like Netflix needs to borrow some balls from Redbox.  Earlier this month it was announced that Netflix had agreed to an increased delay of Warner Bros. DVD releases – an increase to 56 days or double the current asinine delay of 28 days.

The studio seems absolutely convinced that if they hold their movies like little hostages people will pay the ransom of buying the DVD rather than waiting for the rental release.  That is, of course, idiotic.  Buyers buy, renters rent.  Never the twain shall meet.  Why the hell should I buy a movie I didn’t care enough to see in the theater?  Answer – I won’t.  I’ll wait the extra days or simply watch something else.  It’s not like there’s some kind of shortage of visual media – and a lot of it doesn’t suck as much as Warner Bros. releases.  Somehow I doubt that I’ll be rushing out to buy their inexplicable Queen Latifah/Dolly Parton outing Joyful Noise the day it’s released.  Or ever.

In any case – Netflix caved.  They agreed to the 56 day Warner Bros. delay.  No other studios are following at the moment, maybe because somewhere in the bowels of their offices resides someone sane.

But Redbox said no.  Told Warner Bros. to screw and that they would buy the discs retail to stock their kiosks.  An expensive response, to be sure, and not guaranteed to put a copy of every new release in every customer’s hands on day 1 – but I admire their guts.

The studios that insist on delaying releases to rental companies chap my ass.  I do not believe, no matter what their PR hacks claim, that such measures increase DVD sales.  All it does is reek of pathetic desperation and greed.  Normally when economic times are troubled, entertainment spending rises as people seek to escape their worries.  Not this time.  Hollywood had a rotten box office over all in 2011 and their whining was so loud and prolonged that every weepy 3-year-old in the country was embarrassed and vowed never to whine again.  Boo-hoo, Hollywood.  Stop making crappy movies and guess what?  People might go see them.  The economy may have sucked, but that didn’t mean that people were so desperate to escape that they would spend their precious dollars on remakes, sequels and prequels.  Economic troubles do not automatically make us stupid.

So good for you, Redbox!  I’m glad you took a stand.  If there happens to be a Warner Bros. release that I’m eager to see, I’ll gladly get it from one of your kiosks, despite being a long-time and very loyal Netflix user.  This kind of moxie deserves to be rewarded.

2012 Oscar Nominees…Yawn.

January 26, 2012

Well, that’s a motley assortment

I love the Oscars, I really do.  Yet the nominees were announced days ago with nary a word from me on the topic.  It’s unlike me to be quiet about anything, so why the radio silence?  Well, mostly because every time I looked at the nominee list I fell asleep.  What a sucky year.

In defense of the Academy, I can’t think of something that should have been nominated and wasn’t.  It’s just been a craptastic year in film.  I can think of 5 TV series currently running – that I watch – that are better than any of the movies nominated for Best Picture.  Imagine what’s out there that I’m not watching.  Honestly, if Hollywood wants people to go to see movies on the big screen they need to pick up their game, stop pumping out shitty sequels and give us something we care about.

But just in case you haven’t seen the list of nominees I’ll recap the big categories.

Best Picture

Yep, they’re still nominating 10 movies, despite there being 2 that have merit.  Well, I haven’t actually seen all of them, so 2 is an approximation.  Here they are:

The Artist

The Descendents

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

The Help

Hugo

Midnight in Paris

Moneyball

The Tree of Life

War Horse

Hugo, The Help, Moneyball and War Horse are all decent movies, some more decent than others.  None of them is Oscar caliber.  I haven’t seen the others yet.  I’m looking forward to Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close – not because I think it will be Oscar worthy, but because I like Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock.  Same for The Descendants and George Clooney.  I am not in any way looking forward to, nor will I be seeing, Midnight in Paris (I refuse to see Woody Allen films and have since the day he began having sex with his romantic partner’s daughter), The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick is just not my cup of tea) or The Artist.

I’m having a particularly hard time with The Artist.  It’s obviously a Hollywood darling.  The thought of watching it is, for me, nothing short of nauseating.  I’ve seen clips and ads and trailers and there’s nothing there that says anything but “Hollywood Masturbatory Conceit”.  I don’t have any interest in silent movies – I don’t care about paying homage to Hollywood’s past when I’m handing over my cash at the theater.  I don’t need to see another predictable romance with the gimmickry of no words and a score that makes my ears bleed even in the trailers.  Am I a Luddite?  Of course.  But I want to see movies that tell me something important, tell a fantastic story or at the very least entertain me in some way.  I have no use for the movies that win buckets of awards because Hollywood loves to pay tribute to itself and pompous experts tell me I’m just not smart enough for their high concept film making.  Screw that crap.  I’d rather see Bridesmaids win Best Picture.  I actually enjoyed that.   Watch this trailer for The Artist – I already did and it gave me a tic:

On the other hand, maybe I’ll see it and love it (but I doubt it) – and John Goodman looks awwwwesome.  Stranger things have happened, but I’m definitely not paying to see this thing in a theater.  To me, it’s barely worth a rental and only that because I’m a little bit of an Oscar nominee completist (with the exception of Woody Allen movies – that’s a rule I break for no one).

The nominations for Best Actor and Actress are a little more interesting:

Best Actor

Demian Bichir – A Better Life

George Clooney – The Descendants

Jean Dujardin – The Artist

Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Brad Pitt – Moneyball

Cloooney and Pitt may be pretty, but they can both actually act.  I don’t think the Pitt role was worthy of a nomination, but it was a lean year.  Oldman and Bichir (with whom I am not familiar) have given me two more movies to put on my list to see before the broadcast – I love it when performances get nominated without their films.

Best Actress

Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs

Viola Davis – The Help

Rooney Mara – The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady

Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn

I love this category.  I have 2 more new movies for the list in Albert Nobbs and The Iron Lady – both Close and Streep are enough for me to see movies in which I might otherwise have little interest.  Dragon Tattoo is already on the list because I heart David Fincher and I’ll actively root for Viola Davis.  She was great in The Help, lending some much needed subtlety to the proceedings, and I have been waiting to see her win an Oscar since her amazing performance in Doubt.

Supporting Actors and Actresses

Honestly, I don’t feel like listing all the nominees here.  But I would like to point out that Jonah Hill is nominated for Moneyball – a nomination I saw coming within the first 15 minutes of the film.  This is his first time trying out real acting instead of “fat, gross guy” acting and he does a terrific job.  But my support goes to Christopher Plummer who was so fabulous in Beginners.

In Best Supporting Actress I’m a little torn.  I liked Octavia Spencer in The Help, but I LOVED Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids.  I know she’s a long shot, but I think I’ll be cheering in her direction.

And there you have it.  A mediocre year at best.  Hopefully people will make up for it by wearing completely outrageous clothing and swearing during their acceptance speeches.  A girl can dream…

 

New on Netflix – January 24th and January 31st

January 24, 2012

The January Thaw

Look at this!  We have oodles and oodles of DVDs being released on Netflix on January 24th.  I haven’t seen so many in ages.  January 31st is looking pretty good, too.  It’s likely that they’re trying to lull us into a deep, mid-winter movie fugue state – an attempt I applaud as the wind blows and the snow falls.  Some of these movies even look good!  Let’s take a look – and as always, you can find more Netflix release dates at Everything Netflix!

January 24th

Final Destination 5 (horror, Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell) – Seriously, it’s #5.  I’m as baffled as you.

50/50 (comedy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogan) – I love JGL and this was a Golden Globe nominee – this absolutely stays on the queue despite my never having heard of it before the GG nom.

Little Deaths (horror, Kate Braithewaite, Daniel Brocklebank) – Three stories of sex/death/horror.  Sounds awful, but check out the names of those two stars!  They should marry and hyphenate their last names.

The Lamp (family, Jason London, Louis Gossett, Jr.) – Instant Streaming available.  It’s free and I still won’t watch a movie about redemption via lamp.

Age of Heroes (action, Sean Bean, James D’Arcy) – Boromir infiltrates the Nazis!

Saint Nick (foreign horror, Huub Stapel, Egbert-Jan Weeber) – A little late for the holiday horror, there, Netflix.

Real Steel (action, Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly) – This is a movie about robot boxing.  I’m not kidding.  Oh, Wolverine, how could this happen to you?

Paranormal Activity 3 (horror, Katie Featherston, Christopher Nicholas Smith) – Apparently this series will never die.

Revenge of the Electric Car (documentary, Danny DeVito, John Favreau) – A documentary about the race to develop the first commercially viable electric car.

Restless (drama, Mia Wasikowska, Henry Hopper) – I like Wasikowska – here she stars as an ill young girl and her friendship with a dysfunctional boy.

The Woman (horror, Pollyanna McIntosh, Sean Bridgers) – Backwoods Guy + Feral Chick = HORROR

The Confession (drama, Kiefer Sutherland, John Hurt) – Hit man confesses to priest.  This was a Web series now out on DVD.

Hell and Back Again (documentary) – A soldier returns home after his tour in Afghanistan.

Another Happy Day (drama, Ellen Barkin, Ezra Miller) – Judgmental family, tension filled wedding – just my cup of tea!

Tales of an Ancient Empire (action, Kevin Sorbo, Michael Pare) – This movie is described as being about a Princess, her sister, her mother and an evil sorceress.  Yet the listed stars and the cover art are two men.  Go figure.

Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventure (documentary, Eddie Lee Sausage, Mitch Deprey) – The chronicles of bickering neighbors – this actually sounds interesting and fun.

Essential Killing (action, Emmanuelle Seigner, Vincent Gallo) – Tale of a terrorist.  I think I’ll pass.

Happy, Happy (foreign comedy, Oscar Brandso, Ram Shihab Ebedy) – Danish housewife comedy of the presumably dark variety.

Beware the Gonzo (comedy, Ezra Miller, Jesse McCartney) – Teen newspaper revenge comedy?  Yep.

January 31st

Drive (thriller, Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan) – Albert Brooks scored a Golden Globe nomination for Supporting Actor here.  Good season for Ryan Gosling movies.

Contagion (thriller, Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow) – OCD, OCD, OCD!  Actually, it’s a little dry in its presentation of viral plague.

Shark Night (horror, Sarah Paxton, Dustin Mulligan) – Sigh.  I sense more……..OCD!  STAY OUT OF THE WATER!  I don’t think I’ve used the all caps in two consecutive listings before.  It’s a milestone.

Mausam (foreign drama, Shahid Kapur, Sonam Kapoor) – Bollywood love story.

Queen of the Sun: What Are the Bees Telling Us? (documentary, Gunther Hauk, Michael Pollan) – A look at the global importance of the honey bee.

The Double (thriller, Richard Gere, Topher Grace) – Never heard of it, but I like both actors.  It’s going to be on Instant Streaming soon so I’ll give it a shot.

Texas Killing Fields (thriller, Sam Worthington, Jeffrey Dean Morgan) – Also starring the awesome Chloe Moretz from Kick Ass.  Serial killer thriller – you know I’ll watch this one.

Chalet Girl (drama, Felicity Jones, Ed Westwick) – A British snowboarding movie.  now there’s a sub-genre you don’t see every day.

The Mill & The Cross (drama, Rutger Hauer, Charlotte Rampling) – An odd sounding film about Flemish painter Pieter Bruegel and his amazing hallucinogenic paintings.  Or something like that.

You and I (drama, Mischa Barton, Shantel VanSanten) – Directed by Roland Joffe and set in the world of Moscow clubs.

Janie Jones (drama, Abigail Breslin, Alessandro Nivola) – Little Miss Sunshine is growing up fast and plays a teenager to father Nivola.

 

Tops on my list are 50/50, Shut Up Little Man!, Drive and Janie Jones.  Add those to the couple hundred already on the queue and things are looking perfect for curling up on the couch and forgetting that it may well be snowing sideways.  Happy Netflix viewing!

photos by AIBBie90 5 and Caryn Loveless

 

Gnarr and Return – Give Indies A Chance

January 18, 2012

Two small movies, coming to your living room

It’s a brand new world of film distribution.  We have theatrical releases, limited festival releases, disc releases, cable releases, Video on Demand (VOD) releases, Instant Streaming releases and even iTunes, XBox and PlayStation releases.  There seems to be an infinite number of ways to get content to consumers.

But only if you know the content exists.  Being the very helpful person that I am, I’m going to give you a peek at a couple of little movies that might have otherwise never hit your radar.  It’s an Indie Movie Day!

First we have Gnarr.  Based on the true story of a comedian who ran for mayor of Reykjavik, Iceland in 2009, the film follows Jon Gnarr as his joke campaign transforms into something altogether different.  The country was in chaos, the economy in shambles and this funny man stepped in and somehow filled a void.  Gnarr looks funny and extremely topical in this year of turbulent US politics.  This one premiered at the 2011 Tribecca Film Festival and is releasing on Video on Demand on February 7th.  Here’s a look at the trailer:

Next we have Return, starring Freaks and Geeks and ER actress Linda Cardellini as a soldier returning from deployment.  She expects to step back into her old life but things simply do not go as she anticipates.  Cardellini is a good actress and this looks like a heart breaker of a movie.  It premiered at Cannes and will be released on Video on Demand and through iTunes on February 28th.  Let’s take a look at the trailer:

Both films are being released through Focus World, a new division of Focus Features seeking to distribute small films digitally as its main initiative.  Good for you, Focus World – more exposure for Indies!

2012 Golden Globe Winners

January 16, 2012

One MAJOR Surprise!

Fine, it’s not an awards surprise.  But I did watch the show.  Well, part of the show.  Due to a DVR mishap I missed about an hour, which isn’t too bad considering that the run time for the show and pre-show feels like approximately 100 days.  I am afraid that I missed some Ricky Gervais banter, which makes me sad.  He was funny, but not as pointed as I expected and hoped.

Most of the celebs on hand were surly and petulant about the prospect of being the butt of a joke, which makes me crabby.  Let me tell you why (not that you care, but you can’t stop me now can you?).  These are people who have EVERYTHING.  Money, fame, money and more money.  The rest of the country is still trying to get on their feet after a devastating recession that cost a lot of people nearly everything.  If the pampered babies can’t come down from their cushioned mansions and let us laugh at their ridiculous foibles then they deserve exactly what they get – crappy box office numbers.  Why should we pay money (more every day at the theater) to see a bunch of simpering infants play act when they can’t even laugh at their own spoiled excess?  Maybe they should take a good look a the box office numbers from last year and ask themselves if they might want to come down off their little self-made pedestals and join the rest of the world if they want us to shell out any cash to see their work.

Okay, off the soapbox.  What’s the ONE MAJOR SURPRISE???  Is it that the entire cast of Modern Family is completely fabulous?  No, everyone already knew that (but Ty Burrell’s white suit, Eric Stonestreet’s pre-show interview and every single thing Sofia Vergara did all night proved it once again). Is it that Martin Scorsese has the most impressive eyebrows in all of Hollywood?  No, we already knew that, too.  The ONE MAJOR SURPRISE?

Jason Stackhouse in AUSTRALIAN!

Honestly, you could have knocked me over with a feather.  Ryan Kwanten, who plays Jason Stackhouse on the Showtime series True Blood, showed up on the red carpet to do a pre-show interview, opened his mouth and my jaw hit the floor.  Kwanten plays the ultimate deep southern boy on True Blood -  to hear the clipped Aussie accent coming out of his mouth (it actually sounded rather more cultured and British than Aussie, but what do I know?) made me Laugh Out Loud.  He’s always been one of my favorite characters on the show – right now he’s THE favorite character.

In other Globe Drama…yeah, there really was none.  People looked great, made nice speeches and took home awards.  Tina Fey is adorable, George Clooney gets more handsome every year and Angelina Jolie, probably through no fault of her own, comes off as a haughty bitch.  The Artist won a lot of awards but still looks like it would cause me physical pain to sit through it.  Morgan Freeman’s Cecil B. DeMille Award montage gave me the chills and reminded me that I really need to see Se7en again.  Gervais looked like he had a good time just scaring everybody with what might come out of his mouth, but it was Meryl Streep who got bleeped the longest.  I heart her muchly for that.

Here’s a list of the winners:

Best Motion Picture – Drama – The Descendants

I really want to see this – it’s still in theaters and hopefully I’ll get a chance when it hits the cheap screen.

Best Actress – Motion Picture Drama – Meryl Streep in Iron Lady

Honestly?  Never heard of it.  But she’s awesome.

Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama – George Clooney in The Descendants

A little surprised by this double win.  I wonder what Oscar will think?  Clooney looked utterly fabulous and was among those who seems to be able to laugh at themselves.  I love him for that.

Best Picture – Comedy or Musical – The Artist

I can’t stand it.  The clips give me a headache and make me want to cry.

Best Actress – Motion Picture Comedy or Musical – Michelle Williams in My Week with Marilyn

I doubt I’ll be seeing this one.  I have little interest in Marilyn Monroe and ever since Blue Valentine made me want to open an artery I’m scared of Michelle Williams.

Best Actor – Motion Picture Comedy or Musical – Jean Dujardin in The Artist

~sob~

Motion Picture Supporting Actress – Octavis Spencer in The Help

She rocked.  I’m glad she won and hope she repeats at The Oscars.

Motion Picture Supporting Actor – Christopher Plummer in Beginners

Yay!  He was great in this movie.  More people should see it and now, hopefully, they will.

Best Director – Motion Picture – Martin Scorsese for Hugo

Hugo is a beautiful movie, I have no complaints.  I doubt he’ll repeat at Oscar time.

Best Television Series – Drama – Homeland

I will be very excited when this starts coming out on DVD.  I don’t get Showtime so I have to wait.  Auuuggghhhh!

Best Actress – Television Drama – Claire Danes in Homeland

See above.

Best Actor – Television Series Drama – Kelsey Grammer in Boss

I missed this award, have never seen the show and have no feelings about it whatsoever.

Best Television Series – Comedy or Musical – Modern Family

♥

Best Actress – Television Series Comedy – Lara Dern in Enlightened

Again, I’ll have to wait.  I don’t have HBO!

Best Actor – Television Series Comedy – Matt LeBlanc in Episodes

This got lots of nominations.  I haven’t seen it – it could be fabulous.  But LeBlanc could not have come off as more boring and bland in his pre-show interviews.  I’m not waiting with bated breath.

There’s a bunch of other awards, for mini-series or made for TV movies and such, but they bore me.  The only highlights there were the supporting actor and actress awards.  Peter Dinklage is supposed to be amazing in Game of Thrones and I know that Jessica Lange hits it out of the park in every single episode of American Horror Story.  It was great to see them win.

So, another year, another Golden Globes.  It wasn’t as witty as I’d hoped and I’d like to bitch slap a few of the pewling, coddled stars who can’t handle a comedian who might actually make a joke about them but for the most part it was another beautiful evening filled with beautiful people through whom we can live vicariously for a few hours.  And for that we can thank you, Globes.  And you as well, Sofia Vergara.

New on Netflix – January 10th and January 17th

January 10, 2012

Nominees on DVD

Oh, Awards Season, I love you.  I love you even more when your nominees show up on my Netflix queue, waiting to be sent to my home for my personal viewing.  Sure, some epics fare better on the big screen.  but with so many movies to see once the Bog Nominees are announced (the Golden Globes and the Oscars) it’s so nice to be able to sneak in a viewing at my convenience.  In each of the next 2 weeks Netflix is kindly releasing a Golden Globe Best Picture – Drama nominee.  So exciting!  See if you can find them.  As always, you can find more release dates at Everything Netflix.

January 10th

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (sci-fi, James Franco, Tom Felton) – Monkey reboot.

Pete Smalls is Dead (comedy, Peter Dinklage, Mark Boone, Jr.) – An exiled screenwriter and a dognapping?  I would need to be drunk, I think.

In My Sleep (thriller, Philip Winchester, Tom Draxl) – A thriller about sleepwalking – I’m intrigued enough to leave it on the queue.

Moneyball (drama, Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill) – A Golden Globe nominee and strong potential Oscar contender.  This one moves way up on my queue in my yearly effort to see and many nominees for as little money as possible.

An Idiot Abroad (TV comedy, Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais) – In my continued efforts to bring you only TV in which I am interested, we have Ricky Gervais sending his clueless friend on various exotic excursions.

Higher Ground (drama, Vera Farmiga, Donna Murphy) – Vera Farmiga also directs.  Spiritual journeys and fundamental sects.  I like Farmiga enough to leave it on the queue.

1911 (foreign drama, Jackie Chan, Winston Chao) – Modern Warfare vs. Qing Dynasty.  Could be one to keep for action/war buffs.

Sinners and Saints (action, Kevin Phillips, Sean Patrick Flannery) – Cops and robbers with the guy who played Powder.

Answer This! (comedy, Christopher Gorham, Arielle Kebbel) – College + Trivia Contests = Nerd Paradise!  It stays.

Aurora (foreign drama, Cristi Puiu, Clara Voda) – Puiu directed, wrote and starred in this very depressing sounding Romanian post-divorce drama.

Saving Private Perez (foreign action, Miguel Rodarte, Jesus Ochoa) – No, it’s not a porn version of Saving Private Ryan (my first thought) but rather a Mexican action comedy.

January 17th

Toast (drama, Helena Bonham Carter, Freddie Highmore) – Memoir of a chef with a stellar cast.  It’s worth a shot.

Glee: The Concert (musical, Lea Michele, Dianna Agron) – Yes, thank you, I will see this undoubtedly horrible movie.  I’m a sucker for a good production number.

Dolphin Tale (family, Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd) – Young boy and dolphin bond.  Not interesting except for the fact that Charles Martin Smith directed.  Smith starred in the fabulously awesome Never Cry Wolf and has the most forgettable name in Hollywood.

The Ides of March (thriller, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling) – Another Golden Globe nominee about the uneasy relationship of politics and idealism.  Also starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, one of my very faves.

Cheaper to Keep Her (romance, Vivica A. Fox, Brian McKnight) – Is anyone else offended by the title?  The description matches exactly.  Yuck.

Courageous (drama, Alex Kendrick, Ken Bevel) – Police in crisis.  This is a “spiritual beliefs” movie.  No thanks, I think I’ll pass on pulpit movies.

Abduction (thriller, Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins) – The premise of a teen finding himself listed as a missing child is interesting, but Lautner is not.  Pass.

Mysteries of Lisbon (foreign drama, Adriana Luz, Maria Joao Bastos) – A far more interesting sounding saga of a child’s origins.  But with subtitles, so the chances I’ll actually watch it are slim.  I’m pathetic.

Dirty Girl (comedy, Juno Temple, Milla Jovovich) – Sorry, but this story of a misbehaving teen and her road trip just doesn’t look funny.  At all.  But I could be wrong.  You can see the trailer here.

Killing Bono (comedy, Ben Barnes, Robert Sheehan) – An Irish comedy about brothers watching as classmates U2 live their dream.  This is Pete Postlethwaite’s last movie.

Special Treatment (foreign drama, Isabelle Hupert, Bouli Lanners) – French prostitute with psychiatrist client and a mid-life crisis.

 

So what are you going to see?  The Ides of March and Moneyball are high on my list, but I’m interested in Sleepwalking, too.  You never know – it could be a…wait for it…sleeper!  Oh, so funny.  Happy DVDing!

3D or Not 3D

December 28, 2011

That is the question

On Christmas Eve we took the fam to a movie.   This year we were lucky enough to be able to catch an early afternoon showing of Hugo.  Reviews from the peanut gallery were mixed, but I loved it – feeling the sentiments of Steve’s review all over the place.

But that’s not the issue here (though you should see it if you get the chance – it’s lovely).  The issue is the previews.  Before the movie there were five of them.  In addition to feeling 12 hours long, they were just plain weird.  You see, 3 of the 5 were for movies being re-released in 3D.  3 of the 5.  Titanic, Beauty and the Beast and one of the Star Wars prequels.  Nothing new under the sun, indeed.

So here’s my question for you.  Would you pay to see a movie you’ve already seen just because it’s now in 3D?  It costs more to see 3D (yeah – $10.25 each for a matinee.  In Wisconsin) so you would have to be willing to pay a higher price than the first time you saw it and probably a higher price than it would cost you to buy it on DVD.

So let’s find out what you think about this gimmick – should we give Hollywood our hard earned money for rehashing old movies with new technology?  Take the poll and we’ll see if the studios are riding a legitimate popularity wave or if they’re just pathetic.

If your preferred answer is not available, please feel free to leave one in the comments.  We love comments.

 

New on Netflix – December 27th and January 3rd

December 27, 2011

New Year Netflix

My Christmas bloat-fest is now officially over – time to get back on the wagon, eat right, exercise and of course watch as many movies as possible.   I’m counting on Netflix to provide me with sufficient new material to get me through the long winter months ahead.  Brain candy instead of literal candy!  As always, you can find more release dates in Everything Netflix, but let’s find out what we have coming in the next 2 weeks.

December 27th

One Day (romance, Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess) – A couple, trying not to be a couple, over time.  The concept is a little bit like Same Time Next Year, where we check in on them on the same date each year and see how their lives are going.

Eames: the Architect and Painter (documentary, James Franco) – The story of married designers Charles and Ray Eames.  Hopefully James Franco just narrates.

Another Earth (drama, William Mapother, Brit Marling) – An odd sounding hybrid of sci-fi and romance in which an Earth-like planet is found and an astrophysicist crashes into a car, kills the family inside and begins a romance with the lone survivor.  That’s just messed up.

The Art of Getting By (comedy, Freddie Highmore, Emma Roberts) – For those who don’t remember, Freddie Highmore is the adorable kid from Finding Neverland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Here he stars as a rebellious teen loner with romance on his mind.

The First Grader (drama, Oliver Litondo, Naomie Harris) – A British film about a tribal man in Kenya learning to read as an adult.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (comedy, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte) – Gosh, with a title like that how can you go wrong?  What?  In one million ways, you say?  That would be correct.  This looks like a SNL skit that never ends about a 30-year-old infant who wants to throw an orgy.

Brighton Rock (drama, Andrea Riseborough, Sam Riley) – On the surface this looks like a trite drama/romance about a criminal falling in love with a potential victim.  But…it co-stars Helen Mirren and John Hurt and is based on a novel by Graham Greene.  Yes, I believe it stays on the queue.

The Pool Boys (comedy, Matthew Lillard, Rachelle Lefevre) – Another bit of idiocy about a Harvard student who works as an escort in the summer.  Honestly, if Hollywood can’t come up with a hotter escort than Matthew Lillard they should just hang it up.

Love Crime (foreign thriller, Kristin Scott Thomas, Patrick Mille) – Power hungry professional French women.  Ooh, la la!

Jane’s Journey (documentary, Jane Goodall, Mary Lewis, Angelina Jolie) – Biopic about Jane Goodall and her chimps.

2012: Zombie Apocalypse (horror, Ving Rhames, Taryn Manning) – It’s zombies.  What else can you say?

The Hunters (horror, Steven Waddington) – Teens.  Forbidden Area.  Horror Ensues.

Game Time (action, Jason Hurt, Maria Didomenico) – Playing hoops and being cool.  Sweet, dude.

January 3rd

The Debt (thriller, Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington) – The awesome Ms. Mirren plays a Mossad agent 30 past her most famous case.  The film slips back and forth between the original mission 30 years on the past and a troubling secret about to be revealed in the present.

Mr. Popper’s Penguins (family comedy, Jim Carey, Carla Gugino) – Jim Carey cares for penguins in Manhattan.  Adapted from Richard and Florence Atwater’s children’s book.

Cowboys & Aliens (action/sci-fi, Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford) – The title says it all – Western meets Sci-Fi.  Based on the graphic novels by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg.

The Hangover Part II (comedy, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms) – I have to admit, I didn’t like the first one.  I won’t see this unless it’s free and I’m feverish.

I Am (documentary, Tom Shadyac) – A deep documentary about philosophy and spiritualism from the director of Ace Ventura.  I’m totally not kidding.

The Guard (action comedy, Don Cheadle, Brendan Gleeson) – This did not get the greatest reviews but I love Don Cheadle and Brendan Gleeson (who was fabulous in In Bruges) so on the queue it stays!

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (horror, Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, Bailee Madison) – In other words, BE AFRAID OF THE DARK.  Directed by Guillermo del Toro.

I Don’t Know How She Does It (comedy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Greg Kinnear, Pierce Brosnan) – SJP as Supermom.  Pass.

The Last Lions (documentary, Jeremy Irons narrates) – Directed by Dereck and Beverly Joubert, this doc follows a lioness and her cubs.

The Greening of Whitney Brown (family drama, Brooke Shields, Aidan Quinn) – Kid moves to country, befriends horse.  I think I can safely say that without coercion of some severe variety I will never watch this movie.

Red: Werewolf Hunter (action, Felicia Day, Kavan Smith) – Little Red Riding Hood and werewolves.  I may have to see this…

Puncture (drama, Chris Evans, Brett Cullen) – Infected needles and corporate evil.

Ice Quake (sci-fi, Brendan Fehr, Victor Garber) – A family gets into trouble while hiking in Alaska.  Surely Jack Bristow can save the day! (Yep, that’s an obscure reference to Victor Garber’s role in Alias – you’re welcome)

The Chateau Meroux (drama, Christopher Lloyd, Marla Sokoloff) – Anybody else remember Marla Sokoloff from The Practice?  No?  Sigh.  Here she’s making wine and falling in love.

Removal (thriller, Billy Burke, Mark Kelly, Oz Perkins) – Never heard of it but it sounds like a good head-case psycho thriller.  Murder, suicide, insanity, what more can you ask?

 

Well, I’d say we have quite a bit to choose from here!  A little something for everyone.  The Debt and The Guard are tops on my list.  And really, I might have to see the Little Red Riding Hood werewolf movie.  Just to say I did.  Happy New Year all my fellow Netflix Devotees!  This week let’s ring in 2012 with a self-gift, shall we?  I think the perfect thing would be this Lord of the Rings Pez Dispenser Collector’s Set.  No home should be without one!

See larger image The Lord Of The Rings Limited Edition Eye Of Sauron Pez Collector's Series Dispensers (Misc.) New From: $17.93 In Stock

5 Great Christmas Movies

December 21, 2011

Forget caroling, let’s pop in a DVD!

I happen to love Christmas.  I recognize that this does not jibe well with my generally cranky, pessimistic and cynical life approach, but I enjoy being a holiday enigma.  Part of any great holiday is watching at least one of my favorite movies – most of which would not be considered typical family-friendly holiday fare.  Which does actually jibe well with my general world view!  Here are 5 of my favorites – one for each day through Christmas!  Oh, such timing.  And one honorable mention just in case you need a little fix to help with the Christmas DTs.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

This may be my favorite of all.  It isn’t smart or timely or sweet, but it is damn funny.  Chevy Chase is at his best as bumbling, well meaning Clark Griswold, determined to give his family the perfect old fashioned Christmas – as well as a big surprise gift.  As we know, nothing goes right for Clark and family, so their holiday is filled with mishaps and mayhem.  I love it for the uber-lit house, the uptight neighbors (played by a pre-Seinfeld Julia Louis Dreyfuss and Nicholas Guest) and brother in law Randy Quaid’s outfits.  A stellar cast including Johnny Galecki, Juliette Lewis, Beverly D’Angelo, Diane Ladd, Doris Roberts and E.G. Marshall keep things lively.  The whole thing is silly and stupid and I love it.

Elf

Though relatively much newer, Elf is giving Christmas Vacation a run for its money on my all time favorites list.  I love Will Farrell and this may be his shining moment (no matter how much I love him in Old School).  Farrell plays Buddy the Elf.  Buddy was raised at the North Pole by Papa Elf (the awesome Bob Newhart) but doesn’t fit in.  You see, he’s human and huge and has no talent for toy making.  Once he finds out the truth about his parentage he travels to New York to bond with his father (who doesn’t know he exists and happens to be on the dreaded Naughty List).  Hijinks ensue.  Elf is sweet and funny – it’s a perfect family movie for those with older kids.  Farrell plays the gentle, innocent giant with gleeful abandon and drags the rest of us into his naive and joyful world.  If I was going to choose one movie to go out and buy this year, it would be Elf.

Bad Santa

Now this is more like it – rude, crude and unapologetically vulgar, Bad Santa is the antithesis of every sappy, happy Christmas movie ever made.  Billy Bob Thornton stars and he is a seriously bad Santa.  Perpetually drunk, foul mouthed, perverted and lacking in basic hygiene, Thornton’s Santa gets jobs at department stores only because he works with a dwarf named Mickey (Tony Cox) who is both the brains behind the operation and the perfect draw as a “real elf” (there is nothing politically correct in this movie – anywhere).  The pair runs cons on the stores where they work and this year they run into store detective Bernie Mac as well as hapless store manager John Ritter (in his final movie, something I personally think he would have loved).  The great thing about Bad Santa is that with all its filth and inappropriate language, bad behavior, occasional violent, crushing of everything sacred about Christmas and general all-around perversity it still manages to squeeze out a smidgen of Christmas spirit, which is nothing short of amazing.  This is one for the adults – save it for after the kiddies toddle off to bed.  Then you can laugh and laugh and laugh at each and every completely inappropriate scene.  My fave?  The boxing practice between Thornton and Cox.  Priceless.

It’s a Wonderful Life

How perverse am I that I would jump from Bad Santa to It’s a Wonderful Life?  Very, but let’s not dwell on the negative.  This is Frank Capra’s sap filled 1946 classic starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.  Stewart is George Bailey, long suffering good guy who loses sight of the good things in his life when a financial crisis hits.  Angel Clarence (Henry Travers) is sent to show him just how much he means to those around him and does so by showing him what life would be like if he had never been born.  It’s a Wonderful Life used to run on TV approximately 150 times per day during December.  Not any more.  One of the networks bought the rights and only shows it a single time so unless you own it or have a DVR you’re very likely to be out of luck.  My suggestion – buy it.  This is the movie you watch with cocoa and cookies and cry a little at the end every year.  When you need to get your Christmas Spirit on, this is where you turn – even the scroogiest scrooge will feel a little more festive after steeping in Capra for a while.

Die Hard

What?  Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie!  It’s an action thriller!  That is correct, but also completely wrong.  Die Hard was indeed released at Christmas and is filled with holiday goodies, most of them violent and not at all happy.  But Die Hard did something with its Christmas setting that few if any other movie have done so completely or so well – it melded the Christmas theme seamlessly into a bullet riddled action hero movie filled with bad language and badder bad guys.  Bruce Willis plays hard nosed cop John McClane who is trying to patch up his marriage by showing up at his wife’s fancy Christmas party.  Unfortunately there are terrorists in attendance who want to spoil the fun.  Especially main terrorist Alan Rickman.  But they did not count on the super-human bullet avoidance abilities of one John McClane, badass extraordinaire.  No, this is not your typical Christmas movie, but it’s a ton of fun.  You can wax nostalgic and spot the Christmas items used as weapons.  It’s just like Norman Rockwell!

Honorable Mention

Of course I have to give at least a small shout out to A Christmas Story.  It has taken It’s a Wonderful Life‘s place as ubiquitous on TV throughout Christmas day and for the most part it really does stand up to repeated, repeated and repeated viewings.  Ralphie and his family are still funny 3000 watchings later and the leg lamp will forever be a classic.  Someday I will name a pet “Scut Farkus”.

 

These are just a few of the wonderful or warped or wacky Christmas movies out there to be consumed with abandon along with plates of cookies and pitchers of eggnog.  But these few completely rock.  Enjoy!

 

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