2012 Oscar Movie Reviews #1 – War Horse
Hopefully saving the best for later…
It’s that time of year, movie fans. OSCAR TIME! And while I’m completely underwhelmed with the nominees this year, that will certainly not stop me from seeing and reviewing as many as I can before the broadcast.
I’ll be starting today with Steven Spielberg’s War Horse. I like Spielberg – the man knows how to put together an entertaining movie. I recently watched Jaws for the first time in many years and was reminded just how long this man has been rocking the world of movies, consistently and with more and more artistic diversity.
He stays in his wheelhouse with War Horse – the beautifully filmed war movie. And while a lot of what he does is amazing on the screen, a lot of what he does here fails. To find out more you’re simply going to have to read the full review. Yes, I am just that cruel.
Next on the docket is Moneyball. I couldn’t care less about baseball as a sport. Can Brad Pitt convince me otherwise? I’ll let you know. In the meantime, let’s take a look at the trailer for War Horse, then you can scamper off and read the review.
Netflix Caves to Warner Bros. on 56 Day Delay
Redbox tells them to screw off
Well, well. It looks like Netflix needs to borrow some balls from Redbox. Earlier this month it was announced that Netflix had agreed to an increased delay of Warner Bros. DVD releases – an increase to 56 days or double the current asinine delay of 28 days.
DVDs held hostage like a goblin in stocks. So sad.
The studio seems absolutely convinced that if they hold their movies like little hostages people will pay the ransom of buying the DVD rather than waiting for the rental release. That is, of course, idiotic. Buyers buy, renters rent. Never the twain shall meet. Why the hell should I buy a movie I didn’t care enough to see in the theater? Answer – I won’t. I’ll wait the extra days or simply watch something else. It’s not like there’s some kind of shortage of visual media – and a lot of it doesn’t suck as much as Warner Bros. releases. Somehow I doubt that I’ll be rushing out to buy their inexplicable Queen Latifah/Dolly Parton outing Joyful Noise the day it’s released. Or ever.
In any case – Netflix caved. They agreed to the 56 day Warner Bros. delay. No other studios are following at the moment, maybe because somewhere in the bowels of their offices resides someone sane.
But Redbox said no. Told Warner Bros. to screw and that they would buy the discs retail to stock their kiosks. An expensive response, to be sure, and not guaranteed to put a copy of every new release in every customer’s hands on day 1 – but I admire their guts.
The studios that insist on delaying releases to rental companies chap my ass. I do not believe, no matter what their PR hacks claim, that such measures increase DVD sales. All it does is reek of pathetic desperation and greed. Normally when economic times are troubled, entertainment spending rises as people seek to escape their worries. Not this time. Hollywood had a rotten box office over all in 2011 and their whining was so loud and prolonged that every weepy 3-year-old in the country was embarrassed and vowed never to whine again. Boo-hoo, Hollywood. Stop making crappy movies and guess what? People might go see them. The economy may have sucked, but that didn’t mean that people were so desperate to escape that they would spend their precious dollars on remakes, sequels and prequels. Economic troubles do not automatically make us stupid.
So good for you, Redbox! I’m glad you took a stand. If there happens to be a Warner Bros. release that I’m eager to see, I’ll gladly get it from one of your kiosks, despite being a long-time and very loyal Netflix user. This kind of moxie deserves to be rewarded.
2012 Oscar Nominees…Yawn.
Well, that’s a motley assortment
I love the Oscars, I really do. Yet the nominees were announced days ago with nary a word from me on the topic. It’s unlike me to be quiet about anything, so why the radio silence? Well, mostly because every time I looked at the nominee 
list I fell asleep. What a sucky year.
In defense of the Academy, I can’t think of something that should have been nominated and wasn’t. It’s just been a craptastic year in film. I can think of 5 TV series currently running – that I watch – that are better than any of the movies nominated for Best Picture. Imagine what’s out there that I’m not watching. Honestly, if Hollywood wants people to go to see movies on the big screen they need to pick up their game, stop pumping out shitty sequels and give us something we care about.
But just in case you haven’t seen the list of nominees I’ll recap the big categories.
Best Picture
Yep, they’re still nominating 10 movies, despite there being 2 that have merit. Well, I haven’t actually seen all of them, so 2 is an approximation. Here they are:
The Artist
The Descendents
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse
Hugo, The Help, Moneyball and War Horse are all decent movies, some more decent than others. None of them is Oscar caliber. I haven’t seen the others yet. I’m looking forward to Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close – not because I think it will be Oscar worthy, but because I like Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock. Same for The Descendants and George Clooney. I am not in any way looking forward to, nor will I be seeing, Midnight in Paris (I refuse to see Woody Allen films and have since the day he began having sex with his romantic partner’s daughter), The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick is just not my cup of tea) or The Artist.
I’m having a particularly hard time with The Artist. It’s obviously a Hollywood darling. The thought of watching it is, for me, nothing short of nauseating. I’ve seen clips and ads and trailers and there’s nothing there that says anything but “Hollywood Masturbatory Conceit”. I don’t have any interest in silent movies – I don’t care about paying homage to Hollywood’s past when I’m handing over my cash at the theater. I don’t need to see another predictable romance with the gimmickry of no words and a score that makes my ears bleed even in the trailers. Am I a Luddite? Of course. But I want to see movies that tell me something important, tell a fantastic story or at the very least entertain me in some way. I have no use for the movies that win buckets of awards because Hollywood loves to pay tribute to itself and pompous experts tell me I’m just not smart enough for their high concept film making. Screw that crap. I’d rather see Bridesmaids win Best Picture. I actually enjoyed that. Watch this trailer for The Artist – I already did and it gave me a tic:
On the other hand, maybe I’ll see it and love it (but I doubt it) – and John Goodman looks awwwwesome. Stranger things have happened, but I’m definitely not paying to see this thing in a theater. To me, it’s barely worth a rental and only that because I’m a little bit of an Oscar nominee completist (with the exception of Woody Allen movies – that’s a rule I break for no one).
The nominations for Best Actor and Actress are a little more interesting:
Best Actor
Demian Bichir – A Better Life
George Clooney – The Descendants
Jean Dujardin – The Artist
Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt – Moneyball
Cloooney and Pitt may be pretty, but they can both actually act. I don’t think the Pitt role was worthy of a nomination, but it was a lean year. Oldman and Bichir (with whom I am not familiar) have given me two more movies to put on my list to see before the broadcast – I love it when performances get nominated without their films.
Best Actress
Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis – The Help
Rooney Mara – The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn
I love this category. I have 2 more new movies for the list in Albert Nobbs and The Iron Lady – both Close and Streep are enough for me to see movies in which I might otherwise have little interest. Dragon Tattoo is already on the list because I heart David Fincher and I’ll actively root for Viola Davis. She was great in The Help, lending some much needed subtlety to the proceedings, and I have been waiting to see her win an Oscar since her amazing performance in Doubt.
Supporting Actors and Actresses
Honestly, I don’t feel like listing all the nominees here. But I would like to point out that Jonah Hill is nominated for Moneyball – a nomination I saw coming within the first 15 minutes of the film. This is his first time trying out real acting instead of “fat, gross guy” acting and he does a terrific job. But my support goes to Christopher Plummer who was so fabulous in Beginners.
In Best Supporting Actress I’m a little torn. I liked Octavia Spencer in The Help, but I LOVED Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids. I know she’s a long shot, but I think I’ll be cheering in her direction.
And there you have it. A mediocre year at best. Hopefully people will make up for it by wearing completely outrageous clothing and swearing during their acceptance speeches. A girl can dream…
New on Netflix – January 24th and January 31st
The January Thaw
Look at this! We have oodles and oodles of DVDs being released on Netflix on January 24th. I haven’t seen so many in ages. January 31st is looking pretty good, too. It’s likely that they’re trying to lull us into a deep, mid-winter movie fugue state – an attempt I applaud as the wind blows and the snow falls. Some of these movies even look good! Let’s take a look – and as always, you can find more Netflix release dates at Everything Netflix!
January 24th
Final Destination 5 (horror, Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell) – Seriously, it’s #5. I’m as baffled as you.
Yes, I will watch him in anything.
50/50 (comedy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogan) – I love JGL and this was a Golden Globe nominee – this absolutely stays on the queue despite my never having heard of it before the GG nom.
Little Deaths (horror, Kate Braithewaite, Daniel Brocklebank) – Three stories of sex/death/horror. Sounds awful, but check out the names of those two stars! They should marry and hyphenate their last names.
The Lamp (family, Jason London, Louis Gossett, Jr.) – Instant Streaming available. It’s free and I still won’t watch a movie about redemption via lamp.
Age of Heroes (action, Sean Bean, James D’Arcy) – Boromir infiltrates the Nazis!
Saint Nick (foreign horror, Huub Stapel, Egbert-Jan Weeber) – A little late for the holiday horror, there, Netflix.
Real Steel (action, Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly) – This is a movie about robot boxing. I’m not kidding. Oh, Wolverine, how could this happen to you?
Paranormal Activity 3 (horror, Katie Featherston, Christopher Nicholas Smith) – Apparently this series will never die.
Revenge of the Electric Car (documentary, Danny DeVito, John Favreau) – A documentary about the race to develop the first commercially viable electric car.
Restless (drama, Mia Wasikowska, Henry Hopper) – I like Wasikowska – here she stars as an ill young girl and her friendship with a dysfunctional boy.
The Woman (horror, Pollyanna McIntosh, Sean Bridgers) – Backwoods Guy + Feral Chick = HORROR
The Confession (drama, Kiefer Sutherland, John Hurt) – Hit man confesses to priest. This was a Web series now out on DVD.
Hell and Back Again (documentary) – A soldier returns home after his tour in Afghanistan.
Another Happy Day (drama, Ellen Barkin, Ezra Miller) – Judgmental family, tension filled wedding – just my cup of tea!
Tales of an Ancient Empire (action, Kevin Sorbo, Michael Pare) – This movie is described as being about a Princess, her sister, her mother and an evil sorceress. Yet the listed stars and the cover art are two men. Go figure.
Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventure (documentary, Eddie Lee Sausage, Mitch Deprey) – The chronicles of bickering neighbors – this actually sounds interesting and fun.
Essential Killing (action, Emmanuelle Seigner, Vincent Gallo) – Tale of a terrorist. I think I’ll pass.
Happy, Happy (foreign comedy, Oscar Brandso, Ram Shihab Ebedy) – Danish housewife comedy of the presumably dark variety.
Beware the Gonzo (comedy, Ezra Miller, Jesse McCartney) – Teen newspaper revenge comedy? Yep.
January 31st
Drive (thriller, Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan) – Albert Brooks scored a Golden Globe nomination for Supporting Actor here. Good season for Ryan Gosling movies.
A good year for Ryan...
Contagion (thriller, Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow) – OCD, OCD, OCD! Actually, it’s a little dry in its presentation of viral plague.
Shark Night (horror, Sarah Paxton, Dustin Mulligan) – Sigh. I sense more……..OCD! STAY OUT OF THE WATER! I don’t think I’ve used the all caps in two consecutive listings before. It’s a milestone.
Mausam (foreign drama, Shahid Kapur, Sonam Kapoor) – Bollywood love story.
Queen of the Sun: What Are the Bees Telling Us? (documentary, Gunther Hauk, Michael Pollan) – A look at the global importance of the honey bee.
The Double (thriller, Richard Gere, Topher Grace) – Never heard of it, but I like both actors. It’s going to be on Instant Streaming soon so I’ll give it a shot.
Texas Killing Fields (thriller, Sam Worthington, Jeffrey Dean Morgan) – Also starring the awesome Chloe Moretz from Kick Ass. Serial killer thriller – you know I’ll watch this one.
Chalet Girl (drama, Felicity Jones, Ed Westwick) – A British snowboarding movie. now there’s a sub-genre you don’t see every day.
The Mill & The Cross (drama, Rutger Hauer, Charlotte Rampling) – An odd sounding film about Flemish painter Pieter Bruegel and his amazing hallucinogenic paintings. Or something like that.
You and I (drama, Mischa Barton, Shantel VanSanten) – Directed by Roland Joffe and set in the world of Moscow clubs.
Janie Jones (drama, Abigail Breslin, Alessandro Nivola) – Little Miss Sunshine is growing up fast and plays a teenager to father Nivola.
Tops on my list are 50/50, Shut Up Little Man!, Drive and Janie Jones. Add those to the couple hundred already on the queue and things are looking perfect for curling up on the couch and forgetting that it may well be snowing sideways. Happy Netflix viewing!
photos by AIBBie90 5 and Caryn Loveless
Gnarr and Return – Give Indies A Chance
Two small movies, coming to your living room
It’s a brand new world of film distribution. We have theatrical releases, limited festival releases, disc releases, cable releases, Video on Demand (VOD) releases, Instant Streaming releases and even iTunes, XBox and PlayStation releases. There seems to be an infinite number of ways to get content to consumers.
But only if you know the content exists. Being the very helpful person that I am, I’m going to give you a peek at a couple of little movies that might have otherwise never hit your radar. It’s an Indie Movie Day!
First we have Gnarr. Based on the true story of a comedian who ran for mayor of Reykjavik, Iceland in 2009, the film follows Jon Gnarr as his joke campaign transforms into something altogether different. The country was in chaos, the economy in shambles and this funny man stepped in and somehow filled a void. Gnarr looks funny and extremely topical in this year of turbulent US politics. This one premiered at the 2011 Tribecca Film Festival and is releasing on Video on Demand on February 7th. Here’s a look at the trailer:
Next we have Return, starring Freaks and Geeks and ER actress Linda Cardellini as a soldier returning from deployment. She expects to step back into her old life but things simply do not go as she anticipates. Cardellini is a good actress and this looks like a heart breaker of a movie. It premiered at Cannes and will be released on Video on Demand and through iTunes on February 28th. Let’s take a look at the trailer:
Both films are being released through Focus World, a new division of Focus Features seeking to distribute small films digitally as its main initiative. Good for you, Focus World – more exposure for Indies!
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