The A-Team and Marmaduke? Really?
May 29, 2010
Just when you think we can’t sink any lower…
So we now have reality TV ruling the airwaves, sequels ruling the big screen and 15-year-olds ruling pop music. Just when it looks like things are going to complete and utter hell, they get worse. I have just watched the trailer for Marmaduke, the movie. The fourth horseman of the entertainment apocalypse has arrived.
Marmaduke, for those of you who did not grow up on comic strips in the daily paper, is a giant dog that is supposed to be funny. He isn’t. He never was. He’s just big and dumb. Now he’s a live action movie star! God help us.
And it isn’t just Marmaduke. The A-Team? Apocalyptic hoof-beats, closing in. Back in the late 70′s (early 80′s? it’s all a heinous blur) the A-Team was a crap TV show that introduced Mr. T to the small screen. A man who should have been a one hit wonder as part of Rocky 57 (I don’t even remember which one and I’m not going to look now) became someone we had to put up with in our own homes.
Fortunately, there was something known as the “off switch”. We used it. I avoided Mr. T and the A-Team just like I skipped over reading Marmaduke in the daily comics. A brief taste of both was plenty. Now they are both appearing on the big screen. Not only that, but with big talent attached to them.
William H. Macy. Owen Wilson. Sam Elliott. Judy Greer. All in Marmaduke either as voice talent or on screen. Liam Neeson (I just threw up a little in my mouth – what the what?) and Bradley Cooper (fine, he isn’t better than this, but still) and Jessica Biel are all part of the A-Team. How did this happen? I understand that there is nothing new under the sun. That pretty much every story has already been told and what we have been entertained by for millennia is really just remakes and reruns.
But why remake stories that sucked the first time? Maybe I’m wrong, maybe the movies will be amazing and worth all the money and talent and money and resources - did I mention money? – being poured into production and marketing. Maybe the film version of a big, dumb dog will change the face of movies as we know them. But I don’t think so.
I have no problem with movie makers mining the gold of the past. But both Marmaduke and The A-Team are more like mining the pyrite and taking us all for fools. I think I’ll spend my dollars elsewhere. Perhaps on Apocalypse Insurance.
Friday Night Movies – Brothers
May 22, 2010
Jim Sheridan knocks one out of the park
It’s hard to imagine, sometimes, that Tobey Maguire can do anything but play Spiderman. Spidey tends to overshadow things like Wonder Boys or The Ice Storm. It takes something like Brothers to remind me that Maguire can indeed hold his own with dramatic material that does not involve webs or a miscast Kirstin Dunst.
Totally ignored by Oscar, Brothers is a story about both the war in Afghanistan and the effects it has on those left at home. Director Jim Sheridan takes a more conventional approach to storytelling than Katherine Bigelow does in Hurt Locker, but the result is far more emotionally gripping and the situations more haunting. Maybe edgy and unconventional wins awards, but Brothers is a better film than Hurt Locker (and I liked Hurt Locker).
An incredible, intense performance by Maguire creates gut wrenching tension – the kind that makes me wince and tear up. Supported by Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman, the acting here is absolutely outstanding. Sam Shepard puts in a nice performance as the aging ex-military father and Mare Winningham does a nice job with a small role as his wife. Aside from Maguire, the performance to watch here is that of young Bailee Madison as Maguire’s daughter. Just 8 years old at the time the movie was filmed, this child exposes every raw nerve that the adults around her fight so hard to conceal. She’s one to watch, my friends.
From beginnning to end, Brothers grabbed me. There’s a pivotal scene near the end that, in most movies, would have had one or two possible outcomes. I’m telling you, I had no idea where it was going to go. Sheridan manages to create such uncertainty throughout the film that anything is possible in what could have been a routine finale.
Brothers is an excellent film, one I strongly recommend. Jim Sheridan is a master story-teller – I’ve known that since I saw In America years ago – and he does not fail to produce here. Pick up the DVD and see Spidey do something a little more real.
New on Netflix – New on Movie Rewind
May 18, 2010
What are you watching this week?
It’s no secret that I am a Netflix lover. They are my main DVD supplier. When I need a movie fix, they’re there for me, dude.
So what does that have to do with you? Well, it occurs to me that Netflix doesn’t really publish a schedule telling us when it’s going to release various movies. This didn’t used to matter much, since they were released to Netflix the same day they were released for sale, but all that changed when they changed their policy and added a wait period to Warner Bros. productions. So now it’s a little harder to figure out what’s coming out on Netflix and when.
So now you have New On Netflix, right here on Movie Rewind. Every other week, we will give you the lowdown on what’s coming out on DVD and what’s coming out on Netflix. If there’s a Netflix wait, we’ll let you know. If Netflix is going to let you stream something as soon as it releases, we’ll let you know that, too. We’re here for you, dude.
Here are upcoming DVD and Netflix releases for 5/18 and 5/25 (Netflix always releases on Tuesdays):
May 18 Releases
Crazy Heart (drama, Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell, Robert Duvall) - Netflix release DVD, Blu-Ray (delayed release - DVD purchase release date was 4/20)
Invictus (drama, Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, Director Clint Eastwood) - Netflix and purchase release DVD and Blu-Ray
The Messenger (drama, Woody Harrelson, Ben Foster) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD and Blu-Ray
Valentine’s Day (romantic comedy, Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Bradley Cooper, Patrick Dempsey) - release for purchase on DVD and Blu-Ray, will have delayed Netflix release on June 15
Extraordinary Measures (drama, Harrison Ford, Brendan Fraser, Keri Russell) - Netflix and purchase release DVD, Blu-Ray
Defamation (documentary) - Netflix and purchase release DVD and Netflix Instant Streaming
The Spy Next Door (action, Jackie Chan, Amber Valleta, George Lopez) - Netflix and purchase release DVD and Blu-Ray
The New Daughter (thriller, Kevin Costner) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD and Blu-Ray
Gunfight at La Mesa (western) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD and Netflix Instant Streaming
The Girl on the Train (foreign language, Catherine Deneuve) – Netflix release, DVD and Netflix Instant Streaming
May 25 Releases
Dear John (romantic drama, Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD and Blu-Ray
The Road (based on the book by Cormac McCarthy, with Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD and Blu-Ray
Mystery Team (comedy, Donald Glover, DC Pierson) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD
Rain Fall (thriller, Gary Oldman, Kippei Shiina) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD
Tell-Tale (thriller, Josh Lucas, Lena Headey) – Netflix and purchase release, DVD and Blu-Ray
So there you have it. Look for the next installment of New On Netflix in two weeks!
Iron Man 2 – RDJ Just Made My Day
May 9, 2010
I got Robert Downey Jr. for Mother’s Day!
Fine, I know it isn’t Friday and I didn’t see this movie on a Friday. So this is a Sunday Afternoon Movie instead. A little change-up is good.
I don’t ask for much on Mother’s Day. I just want to be waited on, fed high calorie, low nutrition food and get to take as many naps as possible in a single day. Oh, and this year I asked for Robert Downey Jr. I see this as perfectly reasonable. My family is incredible when it comes to Mother’s Day and never has a year gone by when they have failed to blow me away with their wonderful doings. So they took me to see Iron Man 2 in the fancy theater with the comfortable seats with a giant, drool-worthy RDJ for my viewing pleasure. They’re an awesome family.
I – all of us, really – loved Iron Man 2. Remember, this is a super hero action movie. You get what you pay for. There are lots of explosions, lots of chases and lots of special effects. The pace is lightning fast and if you blink you just may miss something. Even if you don’t blink you may miss something.
My favorite thing about Iron Man (both 1 and 2) is that the dialogue is smart. There isn’t a lot of it (remember – super hero action movie), but what there is does not pander to the lowest common denominator. You are expected to know what a classic narcissist is and appreciate the irony of the moment when the phrase is used. You get to watch all sorts of stuff blow up and use your vocabulary! What’s not to like?
The actors are uniformly great – Downey is perfect as Tony Stark. Eccentric, genius, egotistical bragard, self-absorbed and self-destructive. Doesn’t sound lovable, but he gets put in his place plenty. This go-round we get Mickey Rourke as the bad guy and he’s wonderful. Menacing yet still almost cartoonish in his badness. Sam Rockwell is the weaselly second tier baddie and he’s fantastic. Simpering and foolish, Rockwell plays the character like a harp. Don Cheadle returns as best friend Col. Rhodes and has a good time playing in the super suit.
Gwyneth Paltrow is back as assistant Pepper Potts and while this show belongs mostly to the boys, she makes a good showing with what she’s given. Scarlett Johansson gets off to a rocky start but kicks some serious ass by the end.
The star of this show is the amazing special effects. From the suits to the bad guy tech to Tony’s lab – it’s all incredibly well done. You know it isn’t possible, but it looks, well, totally real. I know, I sound like a gibbering fan-girl, but the visuals are damn cool.
The parts I’m not completely sold on involve the greater evolving Marvel universe. Samuel L. Jackson appears as the leader of The Avengers and I understand that they want to tie all these franchises together. But some of those scenes take away from the immediacy of the story. It isn’t a big complaint and one probably irrelevant to those interested in the other movies that will be placed in this universe. For me it was just a little confusing at times.
But then RDJ would say something witty and blow something up and it was all good! Iron Man 2 is a fun movie - well worth seeing on the big screen because of the awesome visual effects (and the great big – did I mention occasionally shirtless? – RDJ). It’s a fix for any RDJ fan as well as a solid installment in the franchise. If you liked the first Iron Man, I see no reason not to like this one. Even though Mother’s Day is almost over, women the world over owe themselves a dose of RDJ and men a dose of high quality explosions. Iron Man 2 - it has something for everyone.
Looking For A Cheap Thrill (er)?
May 6, 2010
I got 10, what you got?
I love thrillers. Not the horror stuff that seems to have been rising to the top of my Netflix queue lately, but quality thrillers with intrigue and psychology and all that good stuff. So I made a list of the ten I like the best and wrote about them. You can find them my 10 Favorite Thrillers List right here on Movie Rewind, in the Articles section. That’s right, you have to follow the link to find out what they are. That’s right, I’m blatantly pimping my own article in my blog. But along with the pimping I’m going to tell you a little bit…about what you won’t find on that list.
You will not find any of that hand-held camera, no-script, too-dark-to-see, faux-documentary Blair Witch Project crap. At best that’s horror, not thriller. At worst, it isn’t even good horror. Aside from some jump scares it doesn’t offer anything coherent. Unfortunately it spawned an entire genre of no budget knock-offs. Paranormal Activity is probably the best of the bunch, and it’s scary - but it’s no thriller.
You will not find the name M. Night Shyamalan. Anywhere. The Sixth Sense is a pretty good movie (even though someone on The Daily Show gave away the ending before I saw it – shame on you Jon Stewart!). Not great, but that twist is nicely played. I didn’t hate either Unbreakable or Signs. But everything since has completely and totally sucked. Shyamalan is a one trick pony and his trick has gotten stale.
You won’t find horror trying to pass as thriller. I know - the distinction may be only in my head. But when I see a high quality thriller, the plotting, characters and setting take precedence over the overt gore. The Ring and its Japanese horror rip-off brethren may be scary, but they are too simplistic and formulaic to make decent thrillers. I don’t insist that a good thriller can’t have aspects of the supernatural, but if the ending is “creepy dead girl with black hair haunts someone out of revenge” it’s not going on my 10 favorites lists.
Go on, I dare you!
So go on over and see what did make my list. Then come back here and tell me that I’m brilliant and chose impeccably or that I suck and should never write another word. Hopefully you will choose something between those two extremes. Hopefully you will take me up on a dare. I dare you to find me a thriller for my list. Something that I did not include that you think has a rightful place. I will watch it if I haven’t seen it and carefully evaluate each and every suggestion. Then I will pick one of yours and bump off one of mine. You have the power to change my list, people! So bring it on, let’s see what you’ve got!
Oh, and just in case you missed it, here’s a link to my article: GO HERE!
Friday Night Movies – The Blind Side
May 2, 2010
Netflix finally sent me The Blind Side!
Sure, it was 28 days after initial release, but I forgive them. The Blind Side, is, after all, a football movie that I once swore I would never, ever see. But with the film getting nominated for Best Picture, Sandra Bullock winning the Oscar for Best Actress for her role as Leigh Anne Tuohy and Sandra withstanding a humiliatingly public personal scandal with grace and class, well, I had to see it. I’m not sorry I did.
The film takes the real story of several years in the life of a teenaged Michael Oher and turns it into an hour and a half of fairly predictable Hollywood feel-good drama. If it wasn’t based in fact I would probably slam it for being too predictable, but I guess life just sometimes turns out like a Hollywood screenplay.
Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron) is a homeless kid from the projects in Memphis. After a strange turn of fate lands him in a private Christian school, he is taken under the formidable wing of Leigh Anne Tuohy (Bullock) and her family. The film chronicles Michael’s journey from homeless and nearly illiterate to unlikely big brother and football star.
First, let’s be really clear. I neither like nor understand football. This is a movie with more than a few scenes dedicated to the game. I was a little clueless as to the import of various calls and and plays and I don’t know (and don’t care) if those were real college coaches playing themselves. But this is a fairly minor complaint – as is true of most sports movies this is more about the personalities involved than the actual sport in which they are engaged.
Bullock does indeed hit it out of the park with her portrayal of Leigh Anne. Cast against her usual rom/com type, she is damn good at being tough but remarkably caring. I still haven’t seen all the Oscar nominated performances, but I definitely don’t think the Academy was off the wall with this statue.
The other performances that stand out are those of Quinton Aaron as Michael and Jae Head as the youngest Tuohy sibling, SJ. Aaron does a nice job with Michael – not stellar, but solid. This is a hard role – the “gentle giant” with a horrible past getting it all together through white people and football. But Aaron sells it.
Jae Head is another story altogether. Whoever cast this kid is a genius. He isn’t textbook cute, but damn, he has personality to spare. As the first kid to approach Michael at school to the spitfire who sits in on all the recruiting visits, he sparkles with just the kind of innocent toughness you would expect from the child of Leigh Anne. Terrific performance from a kid I hope we see more of in years to come.
The movie is sweet, trite and predictable and makes me think that maybe the whole world doesn’t suck after all. Knowing that Michael Oher is a real man whose life was really changed dramatically by this family tempers the ooze of potential sap and the strong performances make the film a very enjoyable watch. I’m not sorry I missed it on the big screen but I’m glad I finally saw The Blind Side. It didn’t blow my socks off, but I enjoyed it thoroughly and came out smiling. And that’s a good Friday Night Movie.
Sandra Bullock Exchanges A Dumbass For A Baby
April 29, 2010
Oscar winner takes the high road
It’s no secret that I really like Sandra Bullock. I’ve already gone on record with my assertion that Jesse James is a giant dumbass for not being able to keep it in his pants while married to the actress. She apparently agrees and has gone public with plans to divorce the D-List idiot.
Not only that, she also revealed that she has adopted a baby boy. Her son, whose adoption she will finalize without James, has been with her for several months, protectively shielded from the pre-Oscar press frenzy and post-Oscar scandal. She let The Blind Side have center stage and kept her personal life personal.
Bullock has now proven the lie in two common Hollywood myths. First, that infidelity is so common that it isn’t really a marriage deal breaker. Bullshit. She was out of that house before the story broke. Unlike other celebrities who seem to thrive on drawing out their drama for as long as possible (no publicity is bad publicity, right? Wrong!), she dropped out of sight until she was ready to announce her plans. On her terms. In no uncertain terms. He couldn’t keep it in his pants, he’s gone. Yay Sandra!!
Second, that it is impossible for stars to maintain any sort of privacy. We hear it all the time – the whining about how the paparazzi won’t leave Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears of whoever the moron of the moment might be alone and the pictures and tabloid fodder and pretty much everything else is the fault of the press. Boo-friggin’-hoo. Excuse my repetition, but bullshit. Bullock just proved that if you want to disappear, you can damn well disappear. She kept a baby secret for months. If she can do that, Britney can surely keep her lack of panties to herself if she tries even a little bit.
Despite breaking her silence to People magazine (wouldn’t be my choice, but whatever), Bullock really took the high road throughout the whole ordeal. She has not bad mouthed James (even though he richly deserved it), she has not paraded around Hollywood bemoaning her fate to anyone who will listen and she’s done the right thing by her new son. She has also admitted to being both sad and scared – real human emotions from an actress. Will wonders never cease?
Kudos, Sandra. You scored one for every person who has been screwed by being a grown up and coming out on top. Your faithless ex and his tantrums to the press, stint in “rehab” for some unidentified disorder (perhaps Wandering Penis Syndrome) and empty public apologies look all the more pathetic in the face of your graceful stoicism and determination to do what’s right for both you and your child. Once in a while Hollywood actually does produce a role model.
Friday Night Movies – Drag Me To Hell
April 24, 2010
With a title like that, what’s not to love?
Okay, so there’s plenty not to love – but there’s quite a bit of fun to be had here, too. I’ve been on a little horror binge lately and though Drag Me To Hell isn’t as scary as Paranormal Activity, it’s a lot more fun. I mean, it’s gruesome, gory and violent with more than a few scenes that could be considered nauseating, but in a good way.
This is pretty much a basic demon haunting. Young woman denies mortgage extension, old gypsy puts bad ass curse on her. You know – they kind of thing that happens to you and me every day. Seriously, people, park your disbelief on the shelf for this one – if you can’t do that, don’t even bother.
But if you can shelve it – enjoy the ride! Drag Me To Hell is the kind of movie that gleefully revels in its gory, gag-inducing excess with such enthusiasm that it’s infectious. This is no hack production. Helmed by Sam Raimi it makes the most of its big budget and is filled with giddily gruesome special effects. Good CGI, Sam – there’s something especially creepy and fascinating about that fly that keeps turning up.
Raimi, with his long history as an actor, writer, director and producer, also clearly knows how to cast a lead. Look what he did for Tobey Maguire in the Spiderman trilogy. Alison Lohman is his choice here – a young lady who hasn’t been on my radar since 2002, when she was Michelle Pfeiffer’s put-upon daughter in White Oleander. She was good than and she’s gotten better with age. She looks completely wholesome, innocent and utterly charming, but her character has unexpected bite and ferocity that make the proceedings a hell of a lot more fun. Too many horror heroines are shrinking violets and watching them struggle is like watching bunnies drown. Not Alison. She might be small, but she’s not going down without a fight.
Drag Me To Hell is scary, but it’s mostly a few jump scares. It’s too ludicrous to be truly frightening. Lorna Raver kicks ass as the evil gypsy and the massive heaps of dripping, ripping, crunching special effects make it over-the-top fun. If you hate horror movies, stay away. If you’re looking for a plot with anything really new, stay away. If you’re looking for Justin Long not to be a wiener, stay away. If you want be a little scared, grossed out and say “EWWWWWWWW!!!” a lot then enjoy!
NBC’s Parenthood – Love It? Hate It? Yeah, me too.
April 15, 2010
Mid-season drama fills me with ambivalence
I have to admit that all ensemble drama fills me with ambivalence. Some is top notch – Homicide, LOST, Boston Legal. Loved them. Even the first three decades of ER were good. But then there’s Soap Opera crap like Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy that make me want to barf. I’m always willing to give ensemble drama a chance, though, so have been watching NBC’s latest entry into the genre – Parenthood. And it has me sitting squarely on the fence.
I almost didn’t even give it a chance. Ron Howard has been on my naughty list ever since I saw Angels and Demons, which royally sucked. And the movie Parenthood was a loooong time ago. Could he really translate an old movie and his annoying-as-of-late style into something worthy? The thing that convinced me to give it a try was Peter Krause. He was so completely fabulous in Six Feet Under that I can’t help but give anything he’s in a chance. I’m both glad I did and cursing myself for getting entangled.
The premise is basically the same as all ensemble family dramas. Large family, far too enmeshed in each other’s lives, problems arise, drama and comedy ensue. In this case the initial conceit is the return of a sibling into the fold after a failed marriage. What always, always determines success or failure on these shows is the likability of the characters. And here we have a very, very mixed bag with the Braverman family. Initial strike against them is that they are too close – what, nobody ever turns to a friend instead of a sibling? Nobody has something else to do besides play basketball at Mom and Dad’s house in the evening? Come on - no family is this close. It’s unrealistic and makes real people and their real families feel like they’ve somehow failed in the Tight Knit Family Sweepstakes.
But what about those characters? Love? Hate? Well, I love Krause and Monica Potter’s Adam and Kristina. They have super chemistry and their nuclear family situation feels the most real (son with Asperger’s, newly rebellious teen daughter). I also really like Craig T. Nelson and Bonnie Bedelia as patriarch and matriarch. There’s interesting stuff yet to come with them. Dax Shepard as stoner/black sheep/irresponsible brother Crosby is also quite endearing. He does stupid things, but he’s often funny and plays very well off of Krause. Mae Whitman as niece Amber is also a character to watch. She’s come a long way since Hope Floats and Independence Day. These characters keep me watching.
On the other hand, Erika Christiansen’s Julia is annoying. Insecure and heavy-handed, she’s saddled with situations that don’t ring true and just seeing her smug face makes me want to turn her off. The most egregious offense of the entire series, though, is Lauren Graham. I didn’t watch Gilmore Girls – I have no idea what her character was like. Hopefully nothing like Sarah Braverman, who makes me want to vomit. She’s a vapid, bumbling mess who I think is supposed to be endearingly vulnerable. I hate her. She is pretty close to being the central character, as the daughter who has just moved home, and I cringe every single time she shows up on screen. She’s completely helpless in almost every way and I don’t have an ounce of sympathy for her or her self-inflicted “issues”. They need to back off on her eccentricities and neediness before she turns into Melissa from Thirtysomething (if you get that reference, I love you).
At this point, I’m still watching based on the strength of Krause, Potter, Nelson, Bedelia, Shephard and Whitman. I’m grudgingly tolerating Christensen and Graham. Hopefully audience reaction to those character disasters will convince Howard and Co. to pull back on them so we don’t have to keep a barf bag near us for each new episode.
You can catch Parenthood on Tuesday nights on NBC. You can also stream full episodes for free (for a limited time after each airs live) at NBC. Don’t worry if you’ve missed a couple that are no longer available, the synopses will do a fine job of catching you up. At this point, I say give it a try – I think there’s more good than bad so far and the good involves Peter Krause. You can’t go too far wrong, there.
Dumbass of the Week – Nike and its Nut-Job Tiger Woods Ad
April 10, 2010
Dead father drones to moping son, world disposes of Nike products en masse
First I want to go on the record with one thing. I do not care what Tiger Woods does with his penis. I am not his friend. I am not his wife. I am not his fan. I only watch golf with my dad. Not that he isn’t a jerk, but didn’t we already know that before his privates became public? I think we did.
That said, I do watch sports. Sometimes I watch them on ESPN (one of the networks that aired this dreck). I also own a fairly large number of Nike products. If I am ever assaulted on ESPN or any other network by Nike’s new Tiger Woods ad starring his dead father I might upchuck. And then I will purge my home of any and all Nike products. This is hands down the most stupid, pathetic ad I have ever had the misfortune of viewing. And for the love of God, I did it to myself.
That’s right. I looked it up on YouTube to see what all the fuss was about. What I got for my trouble was 33 seconds of a moping Tiger Woods being talked to in incomprehensible, parsed bits by his dead father. He never moves, only blinks. His father makes no sense (for which he is completely forgiven, being dead and all).
Am I supposed to feel sorry for you Tiger? I don’t. Am I supposed to get some message from the nonsense words they put in your father’s mouth? I don’t. Am I supposed to admire Nike for standing by its very own moron? I don’t. Am I supposed to feel nauseated? I do.
Nike needs to recognize that either they stand by their people or they don’t. Either dump him or ignore his penis issues. Don’t try to marry his personal problems to his endorsement deal. It makes him look like an even bigger fool (didn’t know that was possible, did you?) and makes Nike look like pompous blowhards who think we can all learn a lesson from a pampered baby with no self control.
The only lesson I learned was to avoid Nike products like the plague. Way to go, Nike!
